Parenting: Discipline

Differences Between Punishment and Discipline

DISCIPLINE /PUNISHMENT
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Encourages the development of internal controls.
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Child learn to cooperate in order to feel good about himself
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Is consistent but flexible
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Is logical and predictable
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Encourages the making of wise choices and independent thinking
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Develops high self-esteem
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Encourages conscience development
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Flourishes in a democratic atmosphere
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Implies realistic expectations of the child
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Encourages warm, caring relationships.

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Allows child to learn from mistakes
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Focuses on behaviour without condemning the child
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Implies moral judgment and equates the person with the wrong behaviour
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Permits choices and encourages a sense of autonomy and responsibility
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Is concerned with present
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PUNISHMENT
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Relies on external control
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Child learns to obey to avoid pain or discomfort
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May be inconsistent or rigid
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Is often arbitrary and illogical
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Is based on power and control
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Develops shame, guilt and anxiety
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Encourages rebellion and deceit or dependent submissiveness
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Belongs within an autocratic, authoritarian environment
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May be inappropriate for the child’s developmental level
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Encourages relationships based on fear and avoidance of hurt or power struggles.
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Makes child afraid of making mistakes
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Demands obedience and encourages dependence

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Frequently drags up the past
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EFFECTIVE PARENTING DISCIPLINE WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE

1. Negotiate rules with your children.
2. Enhance their self-esteem.
3. Teach accountability and consequences.
4. Parents must be role-models.
5. Parents must understand the life-world of children.
6. Teach children to be assertive.
7. Discuss and debate issues with your children.
8. Be an empathetic listener.
9. Bond with your children.
10. Punitive measures must be agreed upon and implemented.
11. Need for consistency.
12. Rewards must be used appropriately.
13. Intrinsic motivation and self-discipline needs to be applauded and encouraged.
14. Both parents must be consistent – no spouse must be undermined.
15. Discipline must be underpinned by love.
16. Avoid blaming, shaming and ridiculing such as “you are stupid.”
17. It is never too late to start.
18. Stay in a relationship with your children.
19. Affirm your children.
20. Look at the strengths of your children.
21. Remember comparisons are often odious.

Source: edriskhamissa.com

Organisation: Books in Homes

Books in Homes is an organisation whose sole purpose is to promote reading. Whilst it may not be a Muslim-run organisation, I felt the need to support it simply because reading is the basis of Islam and the organisation is giving us an opportunity to do something to improve the lives of hundreds of disadvantaged children in South Africa. Our learners are underperforming because they are not exposed to books before starting school. Let us make a difference. Visit http://booksinhomes.weebly.com/index.html for more information.

Heritage Kite Award – Cape Town International Kite Festival 2011

The Heritage Kite Award competition at the seventeenth Cape Town International Kite Festival in October will be looking for the best hand-crafted, locally-made, South African kites. There are cash prizes to be won and it is an opportunity for participants to show off their kite-making skills, meet other kite-makers from around the world and help to keep a historic tradition of kite-making alive. Entries are open now and judging will take place on day two of the festival, Sunday 23 October.

According to Greg Mountjoy, a South African kite-maker who regularly travels to kite festivals around the world, the Swaeltjie or bat kites he saw at last year’s festival are very similar in style to a traditional kite originating in Indonesia and Malaysia. He believes that this historic design came to the Cape via immigrants from South East Asia. “When I spoke to the competition entrants, nearly all had been taught how to make kites by older family members. Kite-making is often a skill that is passed down through generations – history in the air,” said Mountjoy.

Last year’s winners of the Heritage Kite Award were a grandfather and grandson team from Manenberg – Goosain and Mujaid Davids. Goosain had been taught to make Swaeltjie kites by his father, and he, in turn, has taught his sons and grandchildren.

Every entrant in the Heritage Kite Award will receive a Certificate of Participation and there will be a R500 cash prize for first place, and R300 and R200 for the second and third prizes respectively. The prizes have been sponsored by Greg and Jacqui Mountjoy of Windsong Kites, loyal friends and supporters of the Kite Festival. The kites can be made of any materials, but they must be hand-crafted and able to fly. Entry is free. For more details and entry forms visit the Cape Town International Kite Festival website at www.capementalhealth.co.za or www.facebook.com/CTKiteFest or contact Cape Mental Health on 021 447 9040 / info@cmhs.co.za.

The Cape Town International Kite Festival is proudly hosted and managed by Cape Mental Health in association with Heart 104.9FM. It is Africa’s biggest kite festival and attracts over 24,000 visitors, including some of the best kiters in the world who fly in to show off their magnificent kite creations. The event takes place on the lawns of Zandvlei in Muizenberg and gates are open from 10:00 to 18:00 on Saturday and to accommodate the rugby; from 09:00 to 19:00 on Sunday. The Rugby World Cup Final will be shown live on a big screen and there will be prizes for the best dressed fans. Entry is just R15 for adults and R5 for children and all profits go directly to Cape Mental Health to support its mental health services for people in poorly resourced communities.

Language development in children

From: www.kidenuf.wordpress.com
July 21, 2011

‘Mmm becomes mamma, mum, mummy, and mother’
Miraculously most babies are able to express themselves using language by the time they are two years old. This skill is unconsciously learnt without hours spent on formal lessons! Children learn language through interaction with the people around them. Many linguists and researchers believe that the ability to learn language is instinctive just as it is for birds to sing. Language is something children are born with, a genetic or an innate ability.
Language is acquired in stages and each stage is reached at different times by different children. The critical time for acquiring language is from birth until puberty. Amazingly, children are able to learn two or even a third language at the same time as long as they are continually experiencing some form of interaction in these languages. Researchers say that structural changes in the brain during puberty make it difficult for people to learn a language as they grow older. I’m certain that there are many adults who will agree with this!
The order in which each stage is reached remains the same. The different stages children will go through are:
Six weeks: Babies will begin making vowel sounds, starting with ‘aah’, ‘ee’, and ‘ooh’.
6-10 months: Babies play around with the sounds of words. This is the babbling stage where ‘mamma’ or ‘dada’ is used. Children attach no meaning to these words but after repeatedly seeing the joy it brings to their parents, they will remember the sound and then repeat it!
1 year: The first words are taken from the environment, supported by gestures. Children enjoy rhymes accompanied by movement to the words of these rhymes.
1-1-1/2 years: Children may say single words with meaning like ‘doggy’. You may notice two successive word sentences and an increase in vocabulary like ‘hey, hey, hey, your berday!’
2 years: Conjunctions and prepositions are not used often. Children may say ‘Where you?’ They may enjoy repetition and being told the same story over and over.
21/2- 3 years: Longer and complete sentences using prepositions and conjunctions are used-‘I want my doll!’
3-31/2 years: Children start telling stories. Start of ‘Wh’ questions. They may still over regularize, ‘I should have broughten you an apple!’
4-5 years: Children interact more socially. They learn phrases and words from friends. Phrases like ‘I’ll tell on you!’ are used. Five year olds display greater ability in using language e.g. are able to use plurals like ‘ing’ at the end of words. They are able to combine sentences and they have the ability to use past and future tenses as opposed to restricting conversations only to the present. They are also able to self-correct sentences and those of others e.g. A three year old says, ‘The dog bended the stick. The five year old corrects the three year old by saying, ‘not bended say ‘bent!’
5-6 years: Children will have most of the rules of the language. They are also aware of using appropriate language in different situations eg. They will talk to a baby differently as opposed to talking to their teacher. Vocabulary continues to be developed.
When oral language is used effectively and developed further then just the innate ability, children begin to understand themselves, people and the world around them better. Being able to communicate their needs and emotions is vital for building strong relationships and advancing academically. Parents and caregivers play a vital role in assisting children to develop language further.
Adults have a special way of talking to babies. ‘Baby talk’ helps children to acquire language. Adults tend to use words slightly more difficult then the stage at which children are at but are simpler then the language adults use when talking to each other. This is important because it guides children along especially because it is slower, exaggerated in tone and is filled with repetition and questions.
Children who are given opportunities to experiment with language and are not ridiculed for making mistakes will continue trying and their language will develop further. A good way to correct a child is not to say, ‘Don’t say GLUB!’ but to say, ‘I saw you drink your water in one big GULP!” In this way children learn the correct word without being embarrassed which is one of the reasons why adults don’t learn a second or third language quickly.
When children are given opportunities to appreciate the sounds language has to offer they learn to use language stylistically. The change in rhythm and alliteration of songs and poems is exciting to the ear and children learn to adopt these ways of using language by singing and reciting nursery rhymes and poems.
Listening to stories is a valuable and wonderful way of learning language. Parents may find children wanting to hear the same story repeatedly. Children who are able to repeat ‘read’ these stories find it motivational because they are experimenting with language in a safe and predictable environment!
Providing children with opportunities to participate during daily routines like baking, cleaning the house, setting the table and washing the car provides them with valuable time to interact with people around them. Encouraging children to participate in ‘free play’ which has limited or no adult interference is helpful in acquiring language. The opportunity to participate in conversations with their friends during free play allows children to expand their vocabulary and learn phrases specific to particular activities.
Children who have caregivers and parents who really listen to them without pretending to listen become more confident to use language. Allowing children to interact with as many different people enriches their language learning experience because they have many models to extract from. Some children are more willing to express themselves verbally then others. Others prefer one to one discussion or to listen intently. Each child creatively makes sense of language in their own way and must be allowed to do this.
Just as children learn a first language, so can they learn a second or even a third language. The more interaction children have in a particular language the more they will learn that language. It is only as children grow up do they choose a language they want to communicate in. This choice is dependent on the purpose the language serves in helping them to progress. The ability to successfully communicate verbally lays the foundation for reading and later for writing. Proficiency in language can determine educational and financial success as well as social and cultural belonging in a community. It is through this sense of belonging that children find a comfortable and happy existence!

Are your kids stressed? [from ErinParenting]

It’s common to hear adults talking about how stressed or overwhelmed they are, but do we hear from our children how they feel? Research finds that between 8 and 10% of North American children are seriously troubled by stress.

I’ll never forget a class meeting I shared with my students some 6 years ago. The students were discussing their feelings and all but 1 boy said, “I’m so stressed!” They were 8 and 9 years old. Probing them further, I asked, “Why?” Here is the short list of reasons they mentioned:
1. Too much homework (I must note that they mentioned subjects areas outside of what I taught since I was always conscious about how much I have and NEVER gave any over the weekends.
2. Sibling Arguments
3. Too many extra-curricular activities ie. feeling overscheduled
4. Parent expectations
5. Home problems
6. Stressed out parents always yelling
It broke my heart to see these young souls sharing their stories of stress.
The only boy that day who wasn’t stressed called out emotionally, “I’m allowed to be a kid!” The room went silent. I asked him what he meant. He replied, still very emotional, “I get home from school, take a shower, put on my pajamas, do my homework, eat dinner, play or read then go to bed. I’m allowed to be a kid, Mrs. Kurt.” He was so right.

Today, our children sleep fewer hours, play fewer hours and spend time by themselves fewer hours than ever before. The result is that they are stressed, even children as young as 3 research shows! One researcher, Dr. Kim Payne, was shocked to return to the United States after having lived and worked in war torn countries helping children cope with post-traumatic stress. What he found was that North American children were exhibiting the same physical and emotional signs of stress as the children in the war torn countries.How can you tell if your child is stressed?
Here are some signs to look for:
Physical:
• reoccurring headaches, neckaches or backaches
• nausea, diarrhea, constipation, stomachache
• shaky hands, sweaty palms
• bed wetting
• trouble sleeping/nightmares
• change in appetite
• frequent colds, fatigue

Emotional or Behavioural:
• new or reoccurring fears; anxiety and worries
• trouble concentrating; frequent daydreaming
• restlessness, irritability
• social withdrawal, unwillingness to participate in school or family activities
• moodiness
• nail biting, thumb sucking, hair twirling, foot tapping
• acting out, anger, tantrums
• regression to baby-like behaviours
• excessive whining or crying
• clinginess, won’t let you out of site

The best thing you can do is to discover the reason behind your child’s stress and then put a few things in place to improve the current dynamics.

:Erin A. Kurt, Stress-Free Parenting Expert, is founder of ErinParenting.com and the author of Juggling Family Life: A Step-By-Step Guide to Stress-Free Parenting, the proven step-by-step program that shows you exactly how to raise happy, respectful and well-adjusted kids in just 3 steps…guaranteed. To get your F.R.E.E. video series and receive her stress-free parenting articles on how to parent without yelling and get your kids to listen to you the first time, visit www.erinparenting.com.

Super-genius or Zombie?

Mariam Akabor sets out to discover exactly how TV affects babies and toddlers.

When Zayd was born my husband and I were in a for a reality shock. He wouldn’t sleep for more than forty-five minutes at a time and when he was awake, he was crying. We had tried everything: pushing him in the pram, car drives, a fancy baby swing, swaddling, massaging him after his bath, and we even downloaded white noise. Then one day, despite my protests, my husband placed six-week-old Zayd in front of the TV and something miraculous happened. His gaze was transfixed to the screen and he was awed. There was actual peace and quiet in our home and we loved it. But something gnawed at my maternal conscience. My biggest fear was that he would become addicted to the box and other activities, like reading and playing outdoors, wouldn’t interest him as he grew older.

At one year, Zayd no longer requires the TV to keep him calm. Yet the question of whether to allow him to watch a bit still bothers me. Hundreds of articles have been written about the pros and cons of allowing babies to watch TV yet without the empirical data to endorse these claims it is very difficult for concerned parents to make an informed decision. I decided to embark on my own little journey of discovery.

Cognitive Development
Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget’s theory of cognitive development in children starts with the sensorimotor stage, which lasts from birth up until two years of age. Infants discover the world around them by seeing, smelling, touching, hearing, tasting, sucking, grasping and looking. As children grow older, up until the age of six, the preoperational stage sets in where they are still developing but are unable to perform mental operations. Basically, the child cannot think logically nor can they understand the concept of other points of views.

The American Academy of Paediatrics (AAP) recommends no television to babies under the age of two. This caveat was first issued in 1999, encouraging parents and caregivers to interact directly with infants to promote healthy brain growth and the development of cognitive skills. However, very few parents have been found to strictly follow this guideline. Is it because of the effective marketing from toy companies that encourage parents to obtain the latest educational media with the belief that it will help our babies thrive? More importantly, can our kids comprehend the content and learn from TV and video at a young age?

The Teletubbies Test
Daniel Anderson, a psychology professor at the University of Massachusetts, was determined to find out if babies could make sense of what they saw on the Teletubbies, an award-winning popular children’s program designed for 9-month to 36-month-old children. Anderson and a colleague doctored a ten-minute segment from the program. They cut them into pieces lasting six seconds each and rearranged their order so that the narrative made no logical sense. Then they showed the normal and the distorted versions of the program to the babies and noted their responses. Babies around the 6-12 months were not fazed by the unintelligible sequence of shots; babies around 18-months could discriminate to a certain degree and the 24-month-old babies could clearly notice the difference between the two versions. These findings show that babies under a year are not able to understand the relationship between shots and are not constructing any kind of narrative understanding of what they are seeing (Guernsey, 2007).
So babies under a year may not be able to follow a storyline, but what about grasping simple actions and words?

The Video Deficit Phenomenon
A group of toddlers were shown a video of a person performing an act in an experiment. Another group of toddlers watched the same act being performed live by an adult. Thereafter the toddlers were tested on their ability to perform the act. The result? The children who watched the act being performed live were able to imitate it quicker than those who watched the video. The toddlers who watched the video eventually could perform the act, but after repeated screenings.

Marina Krcmar, an associate professor at Wake Forest University, explains this concept called the video deficit, which is “the tendency for infants and toddlers to learn significantly more effectively from live information than they do when identical information is presented on a screen” (2009). This phenomenon has been found in word learning experiments. Even if the video is created to make it feel as though the person is present with the baby in the room, children learn better, particularly language, when they are being spoken to live.

In an experiment to investigate whether babies as young as 9 months could distinguish the phonemes of Mandarin, one group of babies listened to an adult reading to them in Mandarin whilst the other group watched the same stories on a video. The first group were successful in being able to recognise Mandarin phonemes within two months whilst the latter couldn’t recognise any at all.

In another study, Krcmar and her colleagues used the Teletubbies to test if children aged 16-24 months could learn a new word from the program. The results indicated that children up until the age of 22 months could not learn a new word from the program despite their ability to learn the same word quite readily from an adult person live (Krcmar, 2009).

But what do the results of these studies mean for us as parents?

The Harvard Study
Over a period of three years, researchers at Children’s Hospital Boston and Harvard Medical School analysed data of more than 800 children, charting their exposure to TV from the time they were born up until the age of two. The result? TV viewing before the age of two does not improve their language and visual motor skills (ScienceDaily, 2009). So if you place your baby in front of the TV hoping that s/he is going to improve their language and visual motor skills, think again. They are better off interacting directly with their mother/caregiver and learn better by using their senses as mentioned in Piaget’s theory. However, researchers also found that there was no detriment to the child although they are quick to encourage the No-TV-Under-Two policy as recommended by the AAP.

But there is another reason why babies shouldn’t be exposed to too much of TV. Elizabeth Vandewater, a researcher from the University of Texas, found two main concerns emerging from children watching TV: they spent less time with parents doing other activities and they spent less time engaged in creative play. An hour a day of television viewing among 0-2 year olds was linked to a 9 percent reduction in creative play during the week and 11 percent reduction on the weekend (Guernsey, 2007). For any parent, this should be a clear warning.

Whether your son decides to become a doctor for the day and makes his teddy bears his patients, or whether your daughter decides to play dress up and wears your jewellery, your child is gaining new skills by pretending. Children learn how to solve problems and make choices when they pretend play and this is a vital part of their development and no amount of TV can be a substitute for this.

So does this mean that your child shouldn’t ever be exposed to children’s programs?

The Three C’s
Lisa Guernsey, author of Into the Minds of Babes (Basic Books, 2007), an education and technology journalist and mother herself, travelled countrywide, attending child development conferences, visiting infant-perception labs and interviewing specialists, in an attempt to discover the impact of TV on kids. She believes there is no straightforward response to answering the question Is TV bad for my kids?

Not all kids react the same towards TV. Some may be glued to it the minute it’s switched on whilst others’ attention will be diverted within seconds. Some may get hyperactive whilst others will fall asleep. Between 24 months and 30 months, something changes within toddlers. According to Daniel Anderson, there is a shift in their understanding. At 30 months a child is able to understand simple stories and thus follow a program with interest, something they couldn’t do just six months before. Toddlers at this age are able to overcome their video deficit and benefit from educational TV. Guernsey names a few top-rated children’s programs like Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, Barney, Blue’s Clues, Dragon Tales and Mister Rogers, which have been proven scientifically to help children academically and socially. These programs implement repetition and linear narratives, making it simpler for children to understand. Many children’s programs consult with experts in education and psychology, a fact that parents can be pleased about.

One of the most startling discoveries from Guernsey’s book is the impact of background TV on a child. Do you know how sometimes you may leave the TV on without paying much attention to it and continue with your day’s activities? Studies have shown the negative impact of background TV and how it affects “children’s growth in their youngest years: their ability to engage in pretend play, their interactions with their parents, and their efforts to learn language” (Guernsey, 2007).

Guernsey tells parents to remember the three C’s – content, context and your child when deciding whether to allow your child to watch TV. Is the content of the program age-appropriate? Does it include too many cuts and flashes? Will my child be over-stimulated by it? The key, Guernsey says, is moderation. While the parent-child interaction is the highest form of enrichment for babies, it is not always possible for mothers to be interacting with their children at all times. So the next time I switch on The Teletubbies for Zayd while I scramble to prepare lunch, I won’t be feeling guilty.

This article was published in Living and Loving (October 2010).

Language Development: 6-7 years old

Source: Puo Educational Products
by PBS Parents

Guidelines for Language Development in 6/7 years old

Receptive Vocabulary (words recognized when heard or seen)

• Continues to rapidly develop vocabulary, with an estimate of about 3,000 new words learned during the year. It is a process that continues as the child grows and matures. A typical child has the capacity to learn about 20 new words a day on average during elementary school.
• Develops the ability to think about language, known as “metalinguistic awareness.” The child can talk about words, not just use them for communication. A major influence on language skills is school experience. Beginning to learn about reading will expand the child’s learning of, and awareness about, words.
• Learns vocabulary related to an expanding real-world knowledge that develops from experiences in school and the community. Ability to define words is limited to the concrete use of a word or its obvious function (e.g., when asked what “ball” means, says, “A baseball, a soccer ball. Or, you kick it.”)

Language Comprehension (when several words are spoken at once)
• Enjoys language play, including nursery rhymes, songs and word games where new nonsense words may be invented. Such play may include all aspects of language: sounds, meaning and forms. Increases skills for differentiating fact from fantasy.
• Follows two- to three-step directions in their correct sequence. Begins to learn the rules for games and activities (e.g., board games, sports).
• Demonstrates understanding of verbal instructions by recalling them and by responding appropriately to what was said. Can reply to more complex yes/no questions. Improves in the ability to use indirect requests (e.g., says, “It is hot today” when a drink of lemonade is wanted). Has difficulty understanding some uses of “must” and “should” (e.g. “shouldn’t you…?”).

Speech Sound Perception
• Breaking words into their phonological elements (i.e., sounds or syllables) can aid the learning of additional words. Words with more common sound patterns are learned more easily. Children often are taught to segment words into their sound parts; this skill also serves growing skills with reading and writing.
• Demonstrates the ability to control and adjust speaking rate, voice pitch (i.e., high and low sounds) and volume appropriately.
• Expressive/Productive Vocabulary (words used when speaking or writing)
• Develops better sense of time (e.g., “before, “after) and distance (e.g., “close,” “far”) concepts. May have difficulty putting events into a chronological sequence. Should be able to say and understand words like “this,” “that,” “these” and “those,” and use them appropriately.

Grammatical Development
• Speaks and expresses ideas using a range of complete sentences and most parts of speech correctly. In general, sentence length mirrors the child’s age, so a child seven years of age produces sentences on average of seven words in length.
• Grasps the idea of content words that label things, like “cat” or “dog,” but not of function words like “the” or “was”; some children may skip function words altogether. May have learned about specific grammatical terms like “subject” and “verb” through formal education. Uses words like “now” and “then” (e.g., says, “Now I am going to play basketball.”

Sharing Personal Experiences
• Communicates and repeats stories that have a series of events in a logical order. Can both ask and reply to “wh-” questions: who what, where, when, and why. Conveys stories using a chronological narrative format (e.g., says, “And then this happened, and then…”). Decontextualized language forms (i.e., referring to people, things, or events that are not immediately present) include not only narratives but explanations too (e.g., says, “This is how you play…”).

Conversational Skills
• Initiates a conversation and can deliver directions to others.
• Takes turns when speaking.
• Can maintain the topic of the conversation and take turns speaking. Begins to use some elaboration when facing a conversational repair (i.e., when the listener indicates that the message is not understood).

Children grow and develop at different paces and this information is a guide only. Please share your experiences with your 6-7 year-olds. How has your child’s language developed over the years? Is it at a similar pattern? What else can you add or remove from this list?

http://www.puo.co.za/blog/language_development_six_year_old.html

Meeting the needs of children in the classroom

By Claire Marketos

www.inspiredparenting.co.za

We all agree that teaching in South African Government Schools is challenging. Large classes; children speaking different languages of varying abilities in the same class; enough admin to employ a full time PA; a controlling bureaucratic education department treating teacher’s like puppets on a string; and of course poor pay, lack of resources and support. It is not surprising that talented, creative teacher’s soon become disillusioned or change careers leaving us with boring, uninspiring classrooms where our children’s needs are not being met.

Over regulation of teachers and they in turn of students has led to complacency. The focus on teaching and testing facts has left little time for individual, original, and innovative learning. As Alfie Kohn a foremost educator says: “It’s best to see what we do through the eyes of those to whom it’s done.” Ask our learners how they feel about school and most children will respond negatively.

Do we continue ignoring the moans of our children that school is boring and repetitive and carry on helplessly; blaming the education department and apartheid for our impasse or do we look to our children for inspiration? Here are simple things that can be done in any classroom regardless of the status quo which gives children what they need to be happy and successful.

Children need to feel acknowledged and connected to their teachers. At my son’s school in Johannesburg the teachers greet every child in their class and ask them how they are doing before class starts. This simple gesture which takes only a couple of minutes ensures each child is acknowledged and feels important. Nurturing a connection between teachers and learners helps protect the child against emotional problems, as the teacher is aware of any concerns the child may have. Sometimes the teacher is the only adult the child can bond with. Even with forty children in a class all the children can be acknowledged in five minutes by their teacher before classes start.

Children need to be involved in the learning process. Not allowing children a say in how they learn is naïve. Children are incredibly creative and resourceful. They have the ability to choose exciting ways of learning and will enthusiastically pursue the information they need to complete the learning process. If we want new, independent thinkers we need to stop stifling our children’s natural curiosity. While we all need guidelines to work from, allowing children to be involved in planning lessons and choosing themes will not distract from the core learning aspects, which the teacher can incorporate. Stimulating, novel ideas will emerge as children take responsibility for their work and behavior.

The grade R class my son was in chose their themes for the year, with excited young learners bringing books and dinosaurs to class and even becoming dinosaurs as their imaginations were set free. Grade 6 learners, if asked, would rather devise, plan, and run their own little ’business’ for a couple of weeks instead of filling words  in yet another boring worksheet, when covering the learning outcome of ‘entrepreneurial knowledge’, for the third year. Yet no one bothers to ask them!

Children need to develop reading, research, analytical, and questioning skills for self development and a democratic society. Even children who are learning in their second language can with the assistance of a teacher develop questioning and research skills while improving their command of the language of learning.  The spotlight on producing high marks distracts teachers from the learning process. The experience the children have and the skills they develop as they are learning should be the primary concern of all educators. For example, interviewing people working in technology and Science, and studying environmentally friendly projects that are successfully making money while preserving the environment, will not only make the learning outcome of ‘the interrelationship between science, society and the environment,’ real for learners, but will lead to discussions on global warming, and a responsibility to develop pollution free technology. Most companies and professionals would jump at the opportunity to talk to children if asked; all it takes is a phone call from the teacher. Learners may even be invited to participate in ongoing projects businesses have implemented. The value of a learning experience such as this surpasses any grade a child can get by filling in a worksheet.

Children need to be building on the foundation of their knowledge rather than redoing work they already know. Having children of mixed abilities in the same class requires the teacher to be creative and create a learning environment that will meet the needs of ALL the learners. Even in schools where there is no money available, this can be done by sharing resources and ideas with other schools and teachers; downloading information from the internet; using the local library; fund raising for computers to be accessible to children in the classroom; using resources in newspapers or putting pressure on the powers that be to produce or import material. ‘A one size fits all’ approach in our classrooms is not working as brighter pupils are bored most of the time, and many children with learning difficulties don’t receive the help they need.

Making students wait while other learners receive assistance or making them repeat work they already know is limiting their potential and encouraging behaviour problems. For example children that can add and subtract do not need to complete 20 sums to ‘practice’ their skills, they need to be solving mathematical problems incorporating addition and subtraction. Learners that are still battling with basic concepts in mathematics may benefit from working with bright learners, but they will benefit most from working with concrete apparatus and their teacher so they can grasp the basic concepts. Making children write out their spelling test in rough so it can be written neatly in their English book is teaching them that spelling is boring, tedious and that neatness is more important than the written word. Discovering the meanings of words as children use the words in writing for the theme they have chosen will not only teach them how to spell the words, but it will also teach them how to use the words correctly in context.

Children need alternative assessments to grades. Our obsession with tests is leaving little time for learning as teachers focus on assessment. We kid ourselves into believing that if children are achieving high grades at school it must be a successful learning environment, but are we achieving these results at a cost to the child? If learning is not fun for our children we are failing as educators.

Alfie Kohn in his article ‘Degrading to De-grading’ gives several reasons why assigning a mark to everything children do makes them lose interest in their subjects as well as school. He states:” Grades tend to reduce students’ interest in the learning itself.  One of the most well-researched findings in the field of motivational psychology is that the more people are rewarded for doing something, the more they tend to lose interest in whatever they had to do to get the reward (Kohn, 1993). Grades tend to reduce students’ preference for challenging tasks, and reduces the quality of students’ thinking.  Grades distort the curriculum, and waste a lot of time that could be spent on learning, as well as encouraging cheating. Grades spoil teachers’ relationships with students, and student’s relationships with each other.” As our children need to be involved in the learning process so they need to have a say in their assessment- setting “criteria for excellence” and being able to recognize when a learning outcome has been successful or requires additional work, as one would on any business project.

Children need to be taught by kind, empathic teachers that respect children. Screaming, shouting, demeaning, belittling and threatening children are all punitive ways of controlling children and seldom work as these castigatory ways of interacting with children are repeated over and over. If we want to eradicate bullying in our schools we need to look at what behaviour we are role modelling for our children.

The need to constantly control children by not allowing them to work independently or in groups on different projects because “chaos would ensue” is an awfully narrow minded approach to education. Teachers that feel they can’t cope in this type of learning environment should ask for assistance from parents who would be willing to be teacher’s aides, and for resources such as computers, enrichment and remedial material which can be obtained online or from other countries. Team teaching, giving student teachers the opportunity to spend time in classrooms each week, hiring remedial and ESL (Engish second language) teachers if English is the medium of learning are other ways of ensuring the needs of all the pupils can be met.

Children need to be able to learn through experimentation. Giving children the answers to fill in on a worksheet or criticizing them for making mistakes is a breakdown on the teacher’s part to comprehend how children learn. Tryputting yourself in the children’s shoes and imagine how they must feel when they are constantly being evaluated and criticized for learning. If you are always being reprimanded for speaking out, questioning your teacher and daring to experiment new ways of doing things, is it any wonder we have a deficit of analytical thinkers in South Africa. Most teacher’s who identify with the criticisms in this article will understand how the children feel because they do not like being questioned about their methods of teaching.

The teacher’s role should be to facilitate the learning process, as learners present, discuss and debate. Making mistakes is an essential part of learning and children should not be shamed for their errors. They should rather be encouraged to problem solve an alternative solution.

Children need to be taught study skills and simple note taking as part of learning. From the moment children can write sentences they can be taught to take simple notes, create mind maps, and make up silly rhymes, acronyms and mnemonics to remember their work.

Children learn best from notes written in their own words in language appropriate for their age. Giving them study notes written in adult language to study from is not only difficult for children to understand and relate to, but also discriminates against children who are learning in a second language or have learning difficulties. Good study skills take years to master and need to be included in the student’s daily lessons, so that it becomes a part of learning. It is frustrating and arduous for a child to try to apply what they have learnt on a study skills course to their class notes. While worksheets that guide learning have a place in education, pack them away for a month and watch how your learner’s writing and note taking skills improve. 

Children need teachers who can act as mediators. Facilitating dialogue between children in conflict can take 5 or 10 minutes of break time, empowering children with empathy and the appropriate words to express themselves, helping reduce the cycle of violence in our schools. Teachers who are perceptive enough to know when children are not getting along and put time aside for an intervention are teaching them that it is never acceptable to be a bystander when someone needs help.

Children need their basic needs met. For most children in South Africa having food, shelter, and love is not something they receive on a daily basis. School may be the only sanctuary they have, and so while teachers are not social workers sometimes they need to step in and organize help for the child.

Clearly South African schools provide a unique learning environment. To those teachers who are inspiring our children and making learning fun, THANK YOU! You are a light in the darkness May you be rewarded for your passion. To those career turn to your learners for inspiration and let them excel as their needs are being met. In the words of Nelson Mandela “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

The 2 Biggest Discipline Mistakes

Author: Erin Kurt

Source: Erinparenting.com

The two biggest mistakes that parents, teachers or caregivers make in dealing with children are the following:

1) Too much talking
2) Too much emotion

Sometimes parents talk and explain in a sweet voice hoping that after a beautifully crafted lecture their child will fully understand and will never misbehave in that way again. Other times parents get angry and start yelling or lecturing with huge emotion. Both of these situations do not create the desired outcome.

Let’s look at the first example. When a parent talks and explains why doing something isn’t right they are assuming that their child has the reasoning skills of an adult. Children are born quite unreasonable actually and only learn the basics of cause and effect gradually. Our job as parents is to teach them that their choices have consequences and that they must choose their actions wisely. This understanding will only come through practice – practice of experiencing a consequence after misbehaving, not by listening to an irritating and distracting lecture or soliloquy – no matter how kind and loving we sound.

Remember this: If you talk too much, you will take your child’s focus off the need for good behavior and turn it onto the possibility of an enjoyable argument or game.

Let’s turn now to the second example of using too much emotion. The desired effect is not going to be reached again because by seeing you upset, your child almost gets a rush. Let me explain.

The moment our children turn 2 years of age they begin to want to be like five-year-olds, who can do a lot more. The five-year-olds in turn want to be like ten-year-olds. The point here is that our children want to feel like they have some control over their lives and when they see that they can make you upset, they feel more in control, more powerful. This is by no means your child trying to be malicious; it’s simply a part of their natural development.

I love a quote I heard once from Dr. Thomas Phelan. He said, “If you have a child who is doing something you don’t like, get real upset about it on a regular basis and sure enough she’ll repeat it for you!” This is SO true.

The lesson for parents is this; stick to using a matter-of-fact voice and just state clearly and concisely what it is your child needs to do in that moment – no lecturing, no emotion.

http://www.erinparenting.com/?page_id=13

Tips for Reading Aloud

Source: The Book Chook

Parents who want the best for their kids, read aloud to them every day. Here are some Book Chook tips to get the most from your story sharing time:
• Make sure your child is comfortable, not hungry or thirsty or too tired. A great place for sharing a story is snuggled together in a big armchair. That feeling of love and closeness makes the read-aloud experience even more special.
• If I’m reading a print book aloud, I like to hold the book where my child can see the text while he listens, imagines, and gazes at the pictures. I believe this is an important step in pre-reading, helping kids make connections with what they hear and the print they see.
• Sometimes children find it difficult to sit still for a story. Encourage them to play quietly while you read, or to move around while you both listen to an audio book.
• Whenever you’re reading aloud each day – at bed time, or during lunch, or maybe while you’re in a waiting room – remember to make the experience fun. Encourage kids to join in whenever there’s an opportunity: maybe they can make an animal noise, or be a giant stomping about.
• If the book is new to you, try to scan it before a read-aloud session. It helps the flow if you know what’s coming next. You won’t stumble, trying to work out an unusual font or the meter of a rhyme.
• I like to use different voices for different characters, and vary my tone. If I’m creeping up to a dark, scary cave, I lower my voice, read slowly and draw out the suspense. If I’m doing dialogue between a mouse and a lion, I vary my voice accordingly. Sometimes I get my voices and characters muddled, but it doesn’t matter. Kids usually point it out, we giggle and move on.
• It’s important to be comfortable and develop your own style of reading aloud. Start reading to babies, they are very accepting, and absorb a lot about language by listening to the rhythm of your words. Check out story times at libraries or schools to get an idea of what works for others.

There are thousands, probably millions of wonderful books for children. Borrow from your local library or buy from markets and stores, but make sure there are many, many books in your home for your child to choose from. Sharing great books daily will give all kids a head start into happiness and success in life, and help their dreams come true.

If you’re interested in more ideas for family read alouds, you might like Ten Ways to Involve the Whole Family in Reading Aloud, Fourteen Fantastic Hints on Reading Aloud by Mem Fox Queen of Read Aloud, When Should We Start Reading to Kids?, Encouraging Young Readers, or Rhyme Helps Reading.}

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