12 must have’s for a financially free 2012 By: Michelle Human

Our easy to execute twelve step plan gives you one task a month. Execute each of these according to your circumstances and priorities and you are well on your way to financial freedom.

Step one: Make an appointment to see a reputable financial adviser
Probably the best way to find a reputable financial planner is via word of mouth. Ask around and let colleagues, friends and family guide you. Remember that personality is an important factor and what works for them, may not necessarily work for you, but it is only a starting point. Find someone whom they have been dealing with for some time and most importantly someone that they trust.

The web can also be a valuable source of information. Contact organisations such as the FPI at www.fpi.co.za to see a list of all of their affiliated financial advisers.

When you meet with the financial adviser don’t be hesitant to ask questions such as:
· How does he earn his fees? Is he commission based only or does he charge a fee for a consultation.

· What are his qualifications and how long has he been in the industry?

· Is he affiliated to only one financial services provider i.e.: a tied agent or is he independent and what are the implications of each option. If he is independent, which companies does he support and why?

Don’t feel intimidated by the process. In terms of FAIS (the law regulating the financial planning industry) he is obliged to disclose all of this information in writing anyway.

Step two: Do a comprehensive financial needs analysis
Once you feel comfortable with your financial adviser, the first step will be to conduct a thorough financial needs analysis. This will involve discussing your financial needs and goals, particularly in the event of death, disability and retirement.

You will need to give the financial adviser a good idea of where you stand currently in relation to these goals so that any gaps can be addressed. Make sure that you provide information such as existing policy information, your group benefits provided by your employer, current Will and information relating to your income.

Step three: Understanding the legal implications of your marriage
Were you aware of the fact that your marital regime may impact your financial plan? Make sure that you understand the basic implications of your marital status. The most common marital regimes include in community of property, or where an antenuptial contract has been signed, either out of community of property excluding the accrual or including the accrual system.

If you have chosen not to marry, but are living with someone as a so called “common law” spouse, make sure that you understand what this means from a financial planning perspective. For example, such a union which is deemed to be permanent may be regarded as a marriage. This gives you and your spouse certain rights and obligations.

Step four: Until death us do part…Make or revise your Will
No one likes to think about passing away, but fortunately having a plan for such uncertain events, does not make them happen. So take control of the process and ensure that your Will is up to date. Your Will is the only way that you will have any say in what will happen to your belongings if you pass away. It can also save costs and make sure that there is no delay in winding up your estate.

Step five: Losing a loved one…What would happen to your dependants if you were to pass away
Life cover can play an important role in any financial plan. It is a cost effective way to make sure that any wishes you have stated in your Will, can actually be funded. Consider using life cover to provide for dependants such as your spouse and/or children, paying off your bond or other debts and covering any estate duty or other costs arising from your death. Ultimately it allows you to leave a legacy for those that you love.

Step six: What about me?
Being diagnosed with a critical illness can be a life changing event, which can have enormous financial implications. By having comprehensive critical illness cover you can make sure that you can afford the best possible care and hopefully recover without facing financial ruin. Bear in mind that critical illness cover is designed to assist with the costs associated with the impact that the diagnosis has on your lifestyle. These costs may not seem like a big deal initially, but they can add up to a huge sum very quickly.

In 2010 Liberty paid a total of R 281.2 million in critical illness protection claims. 41% of those claims related to a cancer diagnosis. So the premise that it will never happen to you, just doesn’t hold any water. Make sure that your financial plan includes sufficient critical illness cover to make sure that your lifestyle is not affected by such a diagnosis.

Step seven: Disability
Becoming disabled can be devastating in so many ways. It doesn’t have to be devastating financially. In some ways, your ability to earn an income in the future could be regarded as your greatest asset, especially if you are young, well qualified and skilled.

Make sure that you consider what would happen financially if you were disabled either permanently or temporarily. Perhaps you would need a lump sum initially to meet expenses not covered by your medical aid and set up an environment to cater for your disability. Your long term need, may be to replace your income on a monthly basis. Having a plan to cater for these needs, at least makes sure that you don’t have to worry about the financial implications of any disability.

Step eight: Pay yourself first…
Retirement always seems such a long way off, but it is funny how these things creep up on you. How many pay days do you have left until retirement? Consider a client age 40, planning to retire at age 60 and with a life expectancy of 75 years. They have 240 pay days left to save for retirement. Sounds like a long time, until you realise that these 240 pay days need to provide them with sufficient income to provide for 180 pay days in retirement!

Thanks to medical technology, we are living longer. This means that we need to realistically consider that our retirement years may last longer than we expected. Have we saved enough to last this long? Have we considered the impact of stock market crashes, higher than expected inflation and possible job losses along the way.

Make sure that your retirement plan is robust enough to weather the challenges that it may face.

Step nine: Pennywise…Saving for a future goal
The definition of saving is simple, it is money that is not spent. But in order to really see a sound return you need to take it further than just saving. You need to invest. Bear in mind that your investment needs to outperform inflation so that you are earning a real return. The rule of 72 says that if inflation averages at 10% over the period of your investment, your buying power halves every 7 years!

Make sure that your investment suits your risk profile. If you are younger you may be willing to invest for a longer period, be more aggressive and willing to take on more risk. However the older investor may be more conservative and prioritise capital preservation.

Step ten: Saving for a rainy day…
A comprehensive financial plan must have some provision for everyday emergencies. You don’t want to have all your spare cash tied up in long term investments, and not be able to deal with a small emergency as it happens. Part of the process of setting up your emergency fund, would be to establish a monthly budget. Understand what your monthly expenses are and what, if anything, is left over at the end of the month.

Ideally aim to have three months worth of income or expenses in a readily accessible fund.

Step eleven: Consolidate all important information
Gather all of your important documents together and file them away in a safe place. It might be a good idea to have someone you trust keep a certified copy as well. This way they are readily available in case of need.
Make sure that you include:
· Your ID and/or passport

· Birth certificates

· Will

· Policy documents, share certificates and other investment information

· Antenuptial contract and marriage certificate if applicable

Step twelve: An action plan for the future…
Now that you have put your plan in place, it is time for action. Commit to an annual review with your financial adviser, but also remember to discuss any life changing events with him. This could be a change of job, birth of a child, marriage, divorce etc. All of these events can have an important impact on your financial plan.

To drive the importance of financial planning and understanding savings and insurance needs, Liberty is running a competition that encourages consumers to get obligation free financial advice with a chance of winning a prize worth R1million. All you need to be eligible to win, is an obligation free financial needs analysis (FNA) done through a Liberty Adviser or Broker, with no obligation to purchase any products.

The competition launched on the 10th October and runs until the end of January 2012. Customers have the opportunity of having free obligation advice to help them better understand their financial status.

The rules of the competition can be found on www.liberty.co.za

Note: The views and opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of the Editor of www.muslimmums.co.za.

*Ask your financial advisor about Shariah compliant products from Liberty

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Mother, Not Martyr

SOURCE: SUHAIBWEBB.COM

MUNIRA LEKOVIC EZZELDINE

Being a mother is certainly not easy. As Allah describes in the Qur’an, “…in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning…” (31:14). These travails are often referred to as pregnancy, birthing and nursing. But that is just the beginning.
Mothers are in the daily “trenches” of changing diapers, helping with homework, cooking dinner, disciplining and running between work, picking kids up from school, and soccer games. These daily acts of service to her family can encompass her so completely that she loses balance and perspective of herself. When a woman loses the deeper spiritual significance of motherhood, she may feel that the duty of a mother is to martyr herself for her family by putting everyone else’s needs ahead of her own. But carrying all the burdens and difficulties is not the path to being a good mother. In fact it only depletes a woman, and may even build resentment, making her think that her children and her family “owe” her, as payback for her “martyrdom.”
As the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) taught us that: “A person’s wealth shall not decrease with charity.” What better charity is there than the charity of a mother helping her family? However, as with all forms of giving, the reward is in the giving, not in what is paid back to us by those we give to. Indeed all forms of giving benefit the donor, when done right.
Motherhood is a journey that allows one to witness the growth of a child as well as instill growth in women by making them stronger and wiser. Allah blesses women with children and in turn mothers make a promise to Allah to nurture children into adulthood. Through the process of parenting children, one realizes that it is also about role modeling a balanced and healthy lifestyle to children. Being a mother is not being a martyr. Rather it is respecting the trust and responsibility of raising children as well as respecting yourself as a strong woman. Children will respect their mothers as women who service their families for the sake of Allah. The responsibility of motherhood makes a woman grow stronger physically, mentally and spiritually because she is tested in all areas. She learns to stretch herself to serve those around her with the ultimate purpose of pleasing Allah, while at the same time not losing herself. A mother should not simply become weaker through her giving, but stronger and more balanced.
Here are six ways mothers can find balance and stay focused in order to get through the tough days of parenting as well as enjoy the journey of motherhood:
1. “I will remind myself daily that my time with my children is precious.” Childhood will end one day and my “baby” will soon be an adult. Our children are changing daily and maturing into an adult. Parenting is celebrating the everyday moments more than focusing on the milestones of our children’s life. Spending quality time with our children and making time to communicate and share with our children is what will be remembered. The mundane activities in our life are the ways we connect daily with our children, so we need to see them more as experiences of connection rather than activities we just need to get through and move on to the next.
2. “I will take care of myself.” Physically, mentally and spiritually. By constantly giving attention to our children and husband, we many times forget to take care of ourselves or we put our needs at the bottom of the list. Some mothers don’t even put themselves on the list at all. But as mothers we can only give as much as we have, and if we do not refill our own tanks then we will have nothing left to give. Taking care of our bodies through exercise is vital for our physical health as well as boosting our overall mood and energy. Spending time exercising is not selfish, unnecessary or extra. It must be seen as a priority in order to be able to do our duty as a mother. Taking care of our mental and spiritual self is also vital because this is the area that is most challenged and drained from us when raising our children. The intention of our daily prayers is to help us refocus and slow down our hectic lives, especially as mothers. Since women are the “heart” of a household, we must find inner peace in order for the family to feel in balance. Finding and sustaining self-confidence and happiness will manifest to our children and husband.
3. “I am not a perfect mother.” Many Muslim mothers have extremely idealistic views of parenting or high expectations of themselves as mothers. Our children do not need us to be perfect and they actually will easily forgive us when we acknowledge our mistakes and show our imperfections. We must accept that we will make mistakes which will be opportunities for us to grow and become smarter moms for future challenges. We need to forgive ourselves and release ourselves of the burden of striving for perfection. We need to eliminate the thinking that other moms have attained perfection and they do everything right. We can only do the best that we can with what we have and we should focus on the things that matter – our relationships with them. Dinners won’t always be amazing, the dishes won’t always be clean, and laundry will pile up, but when our kids become adults they won’t remember any of that; rather they will remember the time they spent and the conversations they had with us.
4. “I will make my marriage a priority.” Children place a huge strain on a marriage, especially for mothers of young children. Many mothers focus entirely on the needs of their children and in the process neglect their relationship with their husband. Physical and emotional exhaustion leave women with little energy left to give to their husband and this attitude of “nothing left to give” can cause disconnection in the marriage. It is vital that we find balance in our marriage alongside parenting because not only is it good for our children to witness a healthy relationship, but it is also good for our mental health. The companionship of a spouse is one that will supersede our relationship with our children, especially as children grow older. We must maintain a loving connection to our spouse so that we can grow old together and be further bonded to one another after the children are grown and married. This means we can’t put our marriage “on hold,” rather we must maintain a bond of friendship and love through the trying times of parenthood. It is vital we spend time alone with our husband so that we can see each other through the lens of a spouse and not only as a caregiver to our children. Going on “date nights” and weekend outings as a couple is vital for the bond to be maintained and sustained.
5. “I will value my friendships.” Connecting and sharing with other women helps us to realize the commonality in our struggles as mothers and women. Having sisters and girlfriends in our life makes us stronger because these relationships nurture us emotionally and help us manage the stress in our lives. Our girlfriends and sisters have a special place in our lives that even our husbands cannot fill or replace. Making time to connect with our friends will help us feel happier and recharged so that we are able to give to our children and husband. Talking to and going out with girlfriends is vital for mothers to boost their connection to other women. It will improve our moods and fill our tanks so that we can give to our children and better connect with our husbands.
6. “I will prioritize family dinners.” Eating together as a family is a daily activity of bonding. Routines in children’s lives can foster a deep sense of security. Creating traditions such as eating together is meaningful to our daily lives because it is a time the family comes together to share their day and connect with one another. Research has shown children who regularly have dinner with their families are more likely to do better and make good choices with regard to friends, drugs and sex. Bringing everyone together daily will create a more communicative family dynamic, and the tradition of food, conversations and joy will be the memories that everyone will cherish.

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/mother-not-martyr/

ADVERTORIAL : POST-UMRAH WELLNESS WEEKEND

Relax the World @ Celtic Manor Spa and treat yourself to some much needed time out to rest and revitalize the mind, body and soul. Book a special “Wellness Weekend” available throughout the months of April, May and June. (Mid-week specials also available).

Our package includes the following:
· 2 night accommodation in one of our classic double rooms with stunning views across ocean
· Full Body Energizing Massage in our Couple’s treatment room
· Indian Head massage with a protein hair treatment
· Time to relax in our relaxation area overlooking a mesmeric view
· Spa Lunch served with a glass off chilled sparkling juice (Halaal Friendly)
· Enjoy our Sauna and Jacuzzi or simply rejuvenate your soul at our ocean view swimming pool.

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Cape Town’s first private maternity home ready to deliver

Al-Nisa Maternity Home ready to deliver

25 February 2011

Cape Town’s first private, not-for-profit maternity home will officially launch this week (February 27), in what is the culmination of a 30-year dream for its founder, Dr Unwarr Adam.

Al-Nisa Maternity Home in Rondebosch East, Cape Town, is a midwife-led, women-only facility which offers holistic antenatal, birth and postnatal care, to women with low-risk pregnancies.

“We want to provide a supportive environment that establishes the dignity and reverence of the birthing process. Our care will be provided by skilled midwives using best practice natural birthing methods beneficial to both the mother and baby,” explained Dr Adam.

The concept of a maternity home first took root over 30 years ago when Dr Adam ran the obstetric unit in a Transkei hospital. He noticed a huge disparity in the level of service offered by government hospitals compared to the midwife-driven obstetrics unit run by nuns in other hospitals. “The nuns cared for their patients, protected their modesty and provided a valuable service,” said Dr Adam. Dr Adam’s own children were born in maternity homes such as these and from this, his dream to establish a similar facility was born.

The Adam family purchased the Rokeby Road property in 1992, and after licensing and rezoning was approved, construction eventually began in 2006. Today, Al-Nisa (which means ‘The Women’ in Arabic) has eight beds for antenatal and postnatal care, two delivery rooms, two assessment rooms and a nursery. The Home, designed by Dr Adam’s architect daughter, Adila Adam, also includes a functioning kitchen for use by patients and a landscaped courtyard, which adds to the tranquility and homeliness of the environment.

The hospital also offers the services of a general practitioner, lactation counselling, physiotherapy and ultrasonography. The Al-Nisa medical team is further supported by an advisory team of consulting doctors, which include a gynaecologist, obstetrician and paediatrician.

Put your to do list to work

Ever feel like there wasn’t enough time in the day? You just about find time to eat, sleep, work, and make sure everyone else is doing what they are supposed to be doing. And then the weekend arrives and it’s tax-filing season, back to school, the leaking roof still hasn’t been fixed since winter, the oil mark under your car is doubling in size every day, and you still haven’t booked your Easter holiday.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a bit of a helping hand while you are working your way down your to do list? Freeing up your time for things that are a bit more fun and relaxing, as well as being able to give yourself a pat on the back for being so organised?

Now Capetonians do, with the help of Toodu, www.toodu.co.za. Toodu is a new service that transforms your online to do list into introductions to local service providers who can help you complete your tasks. Not only that, the service providers want your business so will provide all the information you need and do their best to impress you.

How Toodu works:

1. Go to Toodu.co.za (It’s free)
2. Fill in your Toodu items
3. Take a break
4. Start receiving the information, quotes, prices or proposals you need. (Toodu lets you know by email when you have received a response, so you don’t have to keep checking back).
5. Choose who you want to work with and get in contact with them. Toodu doesn’t share your details with the suppliers so you won’t get any pesky spam.
6. Tick the item off your to do list.

Toodu has some pretty rigorous service standards, and any supplier that doesn’t live up to these doesn’t last long.

Toodu is the brainchild of South African entrepreneurs, Lee Hartman, Richard Hartley, and Nick Goossens who were convinced that there was a better way to find and interact with day-to-day service providers.

“We realised that although searching the Internet was great for finding lots of information, it wasn’t that good for finding specific products and services that met your individual requirements,” said Hartman, Toodu CEO. “Then, once you found the correct contact details, getting information, prices or quotes and deciding who to deal with is time consuming and often frustrating. We decided that finding and engaging with businesses shouldn’t be this hard.”

Toodu is currently a beta service and only available in Cape Town and its suburbs, but is coming soon to other South African cities.

About Toodu
Toodu is more than just a to do list. Adding an item to your Toodu list activates a non-intrusive introduction to the people and companies that have put up their hands and said they can help you get what you need to do, done.
Stop searching and get what you need to come to you.

For more information visit: www.toodu.co.za

Breast Problems After Breastfeeding

The wonderful bond you create with your baby when you breastfeed is like no other. And experts agree that breast milk is ideal for your infant. Yet, breast problems after breastfeeding are common, ranging from uneven breasts to misshapen breasts.

Breast tissue is constantly exposed to different levels of estrogen and progesterone. These are the hormones that change during menstruation, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and menopause. Throughout your life — but especially during pregnancy and when you are breastfeeding — your breast size and shape may change significantly.

Breast size is determined by how much fatty tissue you have in your breasts. Lactation creates denser tissue in your breasts. And after breastfeeding, the fatty tissue and connective tissue of your breasts may shift. Your breasts may not return to their pre-breastfeeding size or shape. Some women’s breasts stay larger, and others shrink. But sagging or staying full can be as much a result of genetics, weight gain during pregnancy, and age as a result of breastfeeding.

Does Breastfeeding Cause Sagging or Flattened Breasts?

Postpartum breast involution is the term that describes the shrinking of milk-producing structures of the breast to their pre-pregnancy size when they are no longer needed. But when you are nursing, the flow of milk can stretch the breast skin and tissue to some degree. That leaves some women with an "empty" or "stretched out" look to their breasts. It’s a common breast problem after breastfeeding, but it’s a cosmetic concern, not a real medical problem.

Women often fear that breastfeeding will make their breasts sag. But a study in 2007 showed that breastfeeding itself is not the culprit. Other factors that can change your breast appearance more than breastfeeding include:

· BMI — body mass index, a measure of your percentage of body fat

· the number of pregnancies you’ve had

· a large pre-pregnancy breast size

· age

· a history of smoking

Can Breastfeeding Misshapen Breasts?

Each breast after breastfeeding is independent. So what happens to one breast during breastfeeding won’t necessarily happen to the other. Breast engorgement while breastfeeding, for instance, which is caused by congested blood vessels in the breast, is common while breastfeeding. Once it’s resolved, it may leave one breast slightly misshapen. But again, this is usually a cosmetic, not a medical, concern. On the other hand, any dimpling or puckering of your breast may be a sign of a breast lump underneath. It should be evaluated by your doctor.

Do Asymmetric or Uneven Breasts Come From Breastfeeding?

Breast tissue extends up toward your armpit. So as breast tissue swells with milk and then shrinks again after breastfeeding, the contours of your bust may change. Many women have uneven breasts before pregnancy as well as after breastfeeding. It’s possible for one breast to return to its pre-pregnancy size after breastfeeding while the other stays larger, or droops, or flattens more. Some women end up with one breast a full cup size smaller or larger than the other after breastfeeding and simply learn to love the body that nourished their babies — no matter what its shape.

Should I Be Screened for Breast Problems if I’m Breastfeeding?

Most breast problems after breastfeeding are cosmetic changes, not real medical concerns. But it’s wise to stay up-to-date on your regular breast screenings to ensure your breast health.

· Breast self-exams are a simple way to monitor your own breast health and breast changes. If you feel comfortable doing it, examine your breasts once a month, even while breastfeeding. It’s especially important to examine your breast in the months after you stop breastfeeding as your breasts change shape and size. Report any lumps or unusual nipple discharge to your doctor. Most lumps are benign (non-cancerous). But they should be screened for breast cancer.

· A breast exam by your doctor can evaluate whether a breast problem after breastfeeding needs medical attention. Have your doctor perform a breast exam once a year, or any time you notice usual breast changes after breastfeeding.

· A mammogram (breast X-ray) can diagnose a lump too small for you to feel. If you have a breast problem after breastfeeding, your doctor may advise a mammogram right away, rather than waiting for your regularly scheduled yearly or biannual mammogram. It’s also safe to have a mammogram while breastfeeding if you need one. It won’t affect your milk or your baby’s health.

Call your doctor if you have any of these breast problems:

· fever or flu symptoms, which could indicate a breast infection (called mastitis)

· painful breasts (more than the discomfort related to breastfeeding)

· dimpling or puckering of your breast

· unusual nipple discharge, or a bleeding nipple

· rash on your breast

· a red, sore lump that may feel hot to the touch, which could be a plugged milk duct

· nipple retraction (turned inward)

· a lump in your breast

A positive note: Breastfeeding actually decreases your risk of breast cancer. Women who have never breastfed have a slightly higher risk of the disease.

What’s the Treatment for Misshapen or Asymmetric Breasts?

When breast size or shape changes radically after breastfeeding, some women consider cosmetic surgery. A breast lift, called a mastopexy, can be performed to reduce sagging and to reposition the nipple and areola (the dark circle around the nipple) higher on the breast. A thorough evaluation by a qualified cosmetic surgeon, including a complete breast health history, is advised before you consider surgery.

Source: WebMD

Homemade beauty treatments

Save money and protect your skin from harsh chemicals by trying these homemade cleansers and facial masks:

Natural Facial Cleansers

Gentle Oatmeal Facial Cleanser

Ingredients

1/2 cup Oatmeal or Cornmeal

2 tbsp of plain Yogurt [Add enough yogurt to form a paste]

Instructions

Mix all the ingredients.

Smooth over entire face avoiding eye area.

Allow to sit for 10 min and rinse.

Coconut Cleanser

Ingredients

3 tsp Coconut Oil

1 tsp Olive Oil

1 tsp Glycerin

2 tsp Water

Instructions

Melt ingredients together in a double boiler.

When melted, remove from heat and beat with a whisk for 5 minutes.

Transfer to jar when cooled.

Apply it on the face and rinse it.

Sweet Oil Scrub

Ingredients

1 tbsp Olive Oil

2 tbsp Dark Brown Sugar

Instructions

Mix ingredients in a bowl.

Apply to skin in a circular motion for a minute or 2.

Rinse with a warm cloth and water.

The cleanser will feel greasy but after you rinse and pat dry, skin with be silky soft!

It is great for removing eye makeup.

Creamy Oatmeal Facial Cleanser

Ingredients

1/2 cup Oatmeal

2 tbsp heavy Cream (or milk)

Instructions

Grind the oatmeal to a finer dust using a blender or coffee grinder.

Mix all ingredients in a bowl.

Smooth over entire face in a circular motion.

Rinse well.

Olive Oil Cleanser

Ingredients

1 tbsp Castor oil

1 tbsp of Olive oil

Green tea leaf extract.

1 drop of Essential oil.

1 tbsp Jojoba oil

Instructions

Mix up the ingredients.

Apply to skin in a circular motion for 2 minutes.

Using a warm face cloth, rinse and wipe off face.

Your face will feel very oily while you are cleansing. Do not worry. The face cloth will remove the excess oil.

When you dry your face with a towel, it will still feel oily but the results are super soft skin!

Lemon and Yoghurt Facial Cleanser

Ingredients

1 tbsp Lemon Juice

2 tsp plain Yoghurt.

Instructions

Mix all the ingredients in a bowl.

Apply on face, leave it for 10 minutes, and then rinse with warm water.

Honey Facial Cleanser

Ingredients

1 tsp Honey

2 tsp of Lemon Juice

1 tsp Yellow Sugar

Instructions

Mix all the ingredients in a bowl.

Apply with circular motions.

Leave on for 5 minutes.

Rinse with lukewarm water.

Egg Cleanser

Ingredients

1 tsp Lime Juice

1 tsp Honey

Egg White

Instructions

Mix all the ingredients.

Homemade Facial Mask Recipes

Grape Cleanser

The grape cleanser is a naturally refreshing mask and the best part is that it is the easiest mask around and guarantees great results. All you have got to do is peel and split 2-3 grapes and rub the insides of the same onto your face and neck. Wait for a few minutes before washing the mask off with cool water.

Lemon Delight

The ‘lemon delight’ mask may not be as convenient as the ‘grape cleanser’, but the results are only that much better. Beat an egg white and squeeze the juice of half a lime into it, mix well and apply the mixture all over your face. The inconvenience begins when you have to let the mask stay overnight. In the morning, wash your face with warm water. This is when every bit of inconvenience caused will seem worth the while. A glowing face is guaranteed for you.

Dry Skin Destroyer

For this mask, you will have to mix a teaspoon of butter in a teaspoon of water and apply the resultant mixture on your face. Let the mask stay on for 15-20 minutes before washing off with cold water. With the frequent usage of this ‘mask’, you will learn to realize that dry skin is really not too much of a problem.

Oily Skin Annihilator

Opt for this mask if you think your skin is too oily for your liking. Begin by mixing a teaspoon of brewer’s yeast with plain yogurt and applying this mixture on your face. Wait for a good 20 minutes before washing your face with warm water. Follow this up by washing your face with cold water. This helps close the pores on your face.

Honeydew For You

Begin by washing your face with warm water. This helps open up pores. Towel dry you face and apply honey all over the same. Let the honey-mask stay on for around half an hour. Just make sure you’re indoors with the mask on and not anywhere too close to a beehive! Wash away the mask with warm water and then cold water to close the pores.

Almond And Egg Ecstasy

This mask is a mask ‘carved out’ for the purpose of dealing with dry skin. Beat a single egg and add a teaspoon of almond oil to the same and mix thoroughly. Apply the mixture on your face and leave the same on for around 15 minutes. Then rinse off the mask with cold water to reveal a glowing face. This mask is ideal for people with dry skin and is also noted for the instantaneous results it almost always guarantees

Sent in from Sister Fatima KZN

My Dear Sister, Submit. For Your Baby’s Sake.

Hebah Ahmed – MuslimMatters.org

Disclaimer: This article is written for women who do not have the sole responsibility of supporting their families and are financially able to implement the advice contained within.

On TV and in movies, motherhood is about excitement, happiness, and pride. Pregnancy is special and fun, and babies are there to coo and act cute, be dressed up in all sorts of must-have outfits, and be shown off as the ultimate accessory. As always, these depictions are half truths at best.

Motherhood is about submission. And just like with Islam, submission is not just when it is convenient, compatible, or easy. The fruits of your labor take time to blossom. From the first day a woman gets that positive pregnancy test, the trials and tribulations begin. Nausea, vomiting, fatigue, and heartburn characterize the first trimester. Thankfully in Allah’s Mercy He has promised in the Quran “With every hardship comes ease, with every hardship comes ease.” (94:6) So alas, the second trimester brings a period of ease and pleasure. She revels in her changing body and starts feeling the first movements of her child. She feels great after recovering from the morning sickness and starts to plan the future. Then the third trimester starts to threaten this bliss. By 37 weeks her discomfort reaches its peak, and she is ready for that time of ease again. She begins to look forward to the birth and wants to do anything to make it come sooner, not knowing what is about to come. She thinks the birth is the end but indeed it is only the beginning of a life long test of her will.

Ah, and then the birth. For a first time mom, the intensity of birthing overtakes her with a shock and awe far beyond any military campaign. She fights the power of birth until it finally hits her, the baby has to come out on way or another, and none of the options are appealing. When a woman realizes she cannot run away from her birthing time, nor does she really want to, will she be able to submit to Allah’s plan for her. The successful birther is the one who accepts the overwhelming intensity that accompanies the awesome process of bringing new life to the world, and she welcomes it. Birth is truly a right of passage for women and the extreme journey cannot be avoided, not with epidurals, c-sections, or doctors. When submission occurs in birth, a woman comes out of the experience with one of the highest levels of empowerment a human can feel. She feels joy and victory in her accomplishment and is prepared for the next journey that has just begun: parenthood.

The moment has finally arrived and she meets her child for the first time. Again, Allah has sanctioned a wonderful moment of ease and unadulterated joy after the hardships of birth. No woman can truly understand the intense emotional response her mind and body has to holding her new born baby until her time comes. Every aspect of the birthing journey becomes trivial and worth every moment with her new baby. After the initial joys, she suddenly becomes submersed in another wave of emotional intensity that threatens to overwhelm her. Again, submission is the key to accepting the instantaneous maternal extinct that Allah has created for her. Rather than fighting the feelings or trying to escape, she must submit and allow herself to cry, breath, share and finally accept the responsibility that has now been flung on to her.

Yes, motherhood is a responsibility. A HUGE responsibility, and as with most responsibilities, there is pleasure spiked with pain. Allah has just entrusted her with what could be the biggest test of her life. Each stage of parenting comes with its joys and conflicts, victories and failures. Without guidance from her Creator, she may feel lost and overwhelmed and try to chart her own path, which could lead to disaster. Submission to Allah’s will and His purpose for mothers is the key to surviving the many trials to come.
Allah and His Messenger (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) have made it very clear that one of the primary roles of a woman is as a mother and care provider for her children. The emotional well-being, physical health, and religious guidance of the child all rest primarily in the hands of the mother, with the most intense period being from conception through the earliest years of life. Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) responded when questioned about the most deserving of a person’s obedience and kind treatment with, “Your mother, and then your mother, and then your mother, and then your father.” Scholars have explained this 3-times maternal preference due to her role in carrying the child, giving birth to the child, and nourishing the child with her milk. The Quran sanctions 2 full years of breastfeeding as a right of the child on his/her mother (2:233). This is a religious obligation, not a choice, because of its unmatched benefits for the child. Of course the father has a huge responsibility as well, but his primary duty is to maintain the financial support for the family to enable the mother to perform her role more effectively.

Unfortunately, external influences have crept into the Muslim worldview, resulting in Muslim women struggling with their roles as mothers. Many women are told their worth and self-respect come from their degrees and careers. Rather than parents encouraging their daughters to attain degrees for the sake of knowledge, teaching their children, and future security, Muslim girls are told that they must postpone marriage and motherhood to pursue higher degrees and establish high power careers. Not only is this contradictory to the fitrah Allah created, it is also a disaster for marriages, children, and society as a whole. No alternative will ever take the place of the real thing. Daycares, nannies, grandparents, and breast pumps are inferior replacements for the mother. No other person will ever stress and worry over a child like the mother because Allah put that maternal instinct in her, specifically and only for her own child. For a woman who is raised to work, submitting to her role as a mother can be very difficult and sometimes impossible. The sudden shift in life purpose strikes at the root of her identity. Indeed if women focus on the goal, which is to please Allah and avoid His punishment, and to raise the most righteous, healthy children, submission becomes clear and simple. At first it is a struggle, but eventually the mother will cherish the serenity and peace that comes with obeying Allah and providing her child with the best. Isn’t every child worthy of the very best, not just a “good enough” alternative?

Many Muslim women make up excuses, claiming they are somehow exempt from this duty.

Excuse #1: “I am not the type of women who can stay home all day.” First of all, what type of woman is this, the stereotype of a shallow, lazy person who eats bon-bons and watches TV all day? Any woman who does this is not fulfilling her God-given responsibilities as a mother. Between breastfeeding, diaper changing, clothes washing, and cuddling and bonding with her child, she barely has time to rest. Then there is cooking healthy homemade foods, washing dishes, paying bills, and doing all the other chores that have are waiting in the background. In addition, there are her duties to Allah. She should pray, read Quran to increase her Islamic knowledge, and start researching and planning for her child’s upbringing. If these tasks are easy and quick for her, she has the time and opportunity to have play groups with other moms to enhance her child’s social skills, take walks and teach her child the names of Allah’s creations, and relax with friends over tea.

Excuse #2: “I will just work part time so I don’t lose my career.” The fallacy of this view is that motherhood is a full time job, not something part time that can be squeezed into a work schedule. Babies need to be breastfed every 2-4 hours for at least 6 months to 1 year. A child’s brain development is greatest from birth to 3 years of age, requiring constant stimulation and interaction. Bonding between the child and mother is a 24-hour process. Allah is indeed the Provider of provisions and He can reignite a career if He wills. So it is not better to please Allah and obey Him if a mother is worried about her future?

Excuse #3: “I will pump when I am at work.” Most working moms rarely make it past 6 months with pumping and breastfeeding. Pumping is an annoying, time intensive process that is not compatible with a busy work schedule. It also decreases milk production so eventually the child will have to be given formula. The plastic materials used in breast pumps and bottles have the potential to be hazardous to the baby; milk storage, transportation, and re-heating also become an issue. Crucial bonding during breastfeeding between the mother and baby is also compromised. Does a woman (or child) prefer a plastic alternative to her soft human touch?
Another often forgotten aspect of motherhood is the energy and strength needed to properly give her child their Islamic rights. When a mother is working, she grows tired and irritable and begins to resent her role as a mother. Most working moms cry every day on their way to work as they deal with the guilt of leaving their child. Motherhood begins to feel like an obstacle in the way of her goals, rather than her goal.

The key is for both men and women to value and respect motherhood in the way it should be. Society does the opposite, valuing financial and career accomplishments more than a well-raised child. What should be important is what Allah values more, not what society values. A support team around the mother should encourage her to the good of her child, not the good of her ego. Husbands should praise and shower the mother with gifts, constantly reminding her that she has the most important job in the world. The Muslim Ummah needs to revive the elevated status of the mother in order to get the Ummah back on track.

Just like with the birth, when a mother submits to her duty in its fullest, she will gain the ultimate validation from the results.

So my dear sister, submit! For your baby’s sake.

http://muslimmatters.org/2010/06/16/my-dear-sister-submit-for-your-babys-sake/

Website recommendation: How to wear Hijab

Does your scarf keep slipping? Do you subscribe to the ‘I have bad hijab days’ group? At How to wear hijab.net the best of many youtube videos are chosen reflecting various styles of draping your headscarf. much easier than searching through youtube or other channels…the pictures have been extracted so you can choose according to your style. What is particularly useful for mothers is that many of these styles do not require too many pins because often mothers with infants/toddlers complain that the little ones pull the pins or poke themselves when being carried. feel free to add your thoughts, suggestions for other websites that can make life a little easier…after all Islam is meant to be a SIMPLE WAY OF LIFE.

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