play and your toddler

This article talks about play and development from the age of 3 to 5. It suggests some appropriate play to help a child develop.

play in children from 3 – 4 years
The pre-schooler at 3 years is a social creature. Hence it is important that they are exposed to group activities.

At this stage, he is also able to run, climb just about over anything, walk up and down stairs one foot at a time without holding onto rails and ride a tricycle.

Hand skills improve tremendously at this stage. The child is able to stack 12 – 14 blocks, copy 3 – 4 block designs and fix 4 – 6 piece jigsaw puzzles. He also begins to try colouring within the boundary instead of scribbling random strokes. He is able to trace simple dot to dot designs such as that of a dog. Scissors skills can be introduced as they start to cut strips and gradually progress to lines and curves.

A good mix of gross motor and fine motor activities will suit the child. Playing in the park or playground with the neighbour’s children, kicking the ball, chasing each other will allow the child to test and develop his gross motor skills.

Sitting down at the table to trace, colour and try out the new jigsaw puzzle with an adult teaches him at an early stage to have good sitting down behaviour. His creativity, hand skills and problem solving abilities are also given an opportunity to develop.

play in children from 4 – 5 years
They start to take up roles in group play. They also start to understand and follow rules. Games like hopscotch, Snap, hide and seek, snakes and ladders, Let’s Pretend are some examples of what they enjoy.

Give your child lots of opportunities to mix with other children. Your little one is on his way to being a a very sophisticated social creature. He is already able to read body language, read emotional cues, make decisions on how to act based on the situation he is in and the cues he is picking up.

The ages of 3 – 5 is and exciting and fun time. The primary role of the parent is to be present, give the child lots of opportunities and then let nature do the rest. If your child likes airplanes, then spend time with him folding it and decorating it. It is the process of doing things together and building the relationship that brings you and your child a long way.

Source: Huggies South africa

Top Ten Forms of Halal Entertainment

An article from MuslimMatters.org which is useful at this time of year.

A guest post by brother Abu Muawiyah Ismail Kamdar – a young student of knowledge under Dr Bilal Philips.

Many Muslims have a misconception that having fun is Haraam. Nothing could be further from the truth as having fun is part of human nature and Islam is the religion of Al-Fitrah (Human Nature). Unfortunately, despite the fact that most forms of entertainment are Halal, many Muslims seem to indulge in the Haraam forms instead.

So here are my top ten favorite Halal things to do for fun. But remember even Halal forms of entertainment become Haraam through overindulgence and neglecting your Islamic duties:

10. Eating out:

Everybody enjoys going out to their favorite fast food joint and enjoying a delicious chicken tikka or burger. This is completely Halal and extremely fun, especially when you go with company, so go ahead and enjoy yourself… just make sure the chicken is Halal!

9. Reading:

Not everybody enjoys this but I do, there is nothing like a good book to take your mind of things and help you relax. Of course one must choose a book whose content in Halal and it is preferable to read books by Muslims, unless you have reached the level of knowledge to read Non-Muslim books, and separate the good from the evil.

Don’t forget that the first command in the Quran was to “READ” so enjoy your reading, and may Allah help us all reach
the level where we enjoy reading Islamic books.

8. Swimming:

This one is recommended by the prophet (peace be upon him), and there is no better way to cool off on a hot day! So make sure your Satr is covered and enjoy the water in the upcoming summer.

7. Relaxing:

We all need a break and nobody can pray all day, the prophet (peace be upon him) recommended that we will our lives in balance and said, “An hour for your Lord and an hour for yourself,” meaning that we should split our day and balance between Islamic work and living life. So do not stress, when you get tired, sit back and relax. Its perfectly Halal, just don’t sleep through any salah times.

6. Video Games and Videos:

Not all video games and videos are Haraam; it’s the content that matters. So if you enjoy playing video games and can balance without getting addicted, make sure you only buy Halal games (that means no Grand Theft Auto!). The same with movies and other videos, watch something Islamic or something beneficial and keep away from movies which have shameless scenes and teach bad things.

Most importantly, do not get addicted and sit till Fajr time praying Pro Evolution Soccer, because that would then become haraam. So balance and be careful and responsible when choosing the content, and do not try to fool yourself that a certain movie is halal when you know it is not, because you can not fool Allah or the angels sitting with you watching and writing down every moment into your book of deeds.

5. Nature:

I love nature! Whether it is the ocean, forests, animals, I just love being out in the natural environment. It is one of those times when I feel closest to Allah and feel peace inside me. There is no feeling equal to praying under a tree or on a mountain. Take my word for it and book your next family holiday at some place natural, like the Drakensburg Mountains of South Africa. It is Beautiful!

4. Nasheeds:

I love Nasheeds, in them I have found the perfect replacement for music and a source of both joy and education for myself. It is narrated that Umar (RA) said, “Singing is the companion of the traveler”. I do not know how authentic that narration is, but Imam Malik did say there is nothing wrong with singing while traveling – so load your cars with Zain Bhikha and Dawud Wharnsby CDs, and throw out the Haraam music, and enjoy Halal beneficial entertainment as you drive to work and back!

3. Hanging out with the right crowd:

Your friends either make you or break you. The prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Every person follows the religion of his best friend so be careful whom you befriend”.

Since we are all social beings, hanging out and socializing will be high on our list of ways of having fun, yet it is so important to have the right friends. Your friends are the ones who encourage
you to pray or to skip the prayer and catch a movie. They are the ones who tell you your Hijab looks beautiful or that it makes you look old. In the end, whom you choose to hang out with, makes the biggest difference in who you become.

Sadly, in South Africa we have an added problem in that having fun is looked upon as Haraam as a result many practicing Muslims in this country are B-O-R-I-N-G! So it is even harder to find good friends here who are practicing yet cool and fun, but they do exist. You just have to look in the right places, like at the Al-Kauthar courses and ILM-SA programmes. Hang out with those crowds, you will become a better Muslim and have an awesome time at the time!

2. Playing with kids:

I have two baby boys, two baby nieces, a baby brother, a baby cousin and many other little people in the family and there is nothing that is more fun to me than spending time with these innocent sweet kids and playing with them. Children are a joy and the coolness of my eyes. On this point, I hate people who hate kids and treat them badly, it’s because of such people in our Masjids that many kids grow up traumatized and hate the Masjid and Islam. That is not Islamic at all.

The prophet (peace be upon him) would play with kids even in the Masjid, sometimes when he was in Sajdah, he would be very long because his grandchildren were riding on his back. That’s the Sunnah not banning the kids from the Masjid and growling at them whenever you see them! Playing with children is part of the Sunnah methods of having fun.

One last hadith on this topic, once the prophet (Peace be upon him) kissed his grandchildren in public, a man commented that he had ten kids and never kissed any of them. The prophet (peace be upon him) replied, “What can I do if Allah has removed mercy from your heart, who ever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy,” Think about that next time you mistreat a child.

1. Marriage and all the fun it legalizes:

Being with the opposite gender is the natural desire of every human and it is such a situation that one has the most fun, especially if there is love between them. Islam does not prohibit this but promotes it in the form of marriage while prohibiting it outside of marriage. So dump your boyfriends and girlfriends, get religious and marry a cool religious person!

The prophet (peace be upon him) stressed the importance of marriage many times and also stressed the importance of having a fun marriage. If your marital life sucks, your life in general will be miserable, but if you are happily married and enjoying it (like I am, masha’Allah) then you can cope with every other problem you face. The prophet (peace be upon him) has a fun marital life, he would race with his wives, have food fights with them, joke with them. Study his life with them; he was the perfect husband so let us all follow in his footsteps.

Once the prophet (peace be upon him) advised a young companion who had married an elderly woman, “you should have married someone young (like you) so that you could play with her and she could play with you”. So what are you waiting for?

If you are married, make changes to improve your marital life and make it a source of fun and pleasure for yourself, and if you are not married, get married soon and have a lot of kids so that then do everything else of this list with your wife and kids, its more fun like that than when you are alone.

What is your idea of ‘halal entertainment’?
Do you have any tips for parents during the holiday season?

Treating parents like babies

By Lenore Skenazy

If you’re a mother, you might recognise the sentiment “sweet wishes” from the passive-aggressive baby industry that wants you to feel so completely, even dangerously unprepared for the challenges (they’re always challenges) of parenthood that you’ll read its magazines, buy its products and take its advice. Ka-ching!

Here’s a tip from an article on flying a kite with your kid: “Choose a sunny day when there’s no chance of lightning.” You mean, don’t fly kites when there’s a funnel cloud headed for the driveway? Got it. Or how about this pointer from a parenting magazine on how to delight your baby: “Lean in close and kiss her nose.”? Kissing my baby. Why didn’t I think of that?

And here’s my favourite recommendation from a book of “Baby Must-Haves: (a tome on items you simply must buy unless you want baby to be seriously deprived). You’ll get more bang for your buck with a toy that can be played with in more than one way – for instance, a push toy that can also be pulled.”? Now, you’ve got to feel sorry for the poor writer who had to come up with something, anything to say about a pull toy. But can you think of a push toy that can’t be pulled? Can you think of any toy that can’t be pulled, besides a cranky daddy trying to watch a sports channel?

These tips treat parents as if we were the two-yearolds, so wet behind the ears that we need an expert to tell us which games to play, which toys to buy, what to say to our kids and what to feed them. This talking down to parents is big business. The whole gestalt is enough to convince moms that today’s children, unlike those who came before them, do not have their trajectory well mapped out simply by being born human: cry, crawl, toddle, walk, grow up, breed and cry some more.

No, this generation won’t make it without a whole lot of help from specialists, safety gear and Internet searches. But why? Are our children more vulnerable, and we less competent than any previous generation in history?

Parenting culture

Of course not. But that’s the message we get. We live in a time when parents worry about their offspring’s safety, development and health and you name it more than ever, thanks to a parenting industry that relies on turning us into nervous wrecks. It begins even before the baby’s born. There are books and books about what to eat during pregnancy.

As my doctor told me: Just eat like you normally would, only a little more – and add some folic acid. That kind of counsel is too reasonable for the parenting-industrial complex. Taking a chipper-butchiding approach that set the tone for a generation of parenting advice, the What to Expect When You’re Expecting pregnancy guide goes so far as to remind moms-to-be that “each bite” is a chance to give their babies the perfect start. Which must mean that not making “each bite”? nutritionally stellar risks ruining your kid forever.

There’s no rest for the weary parent in this high-alert world, especially after the bundle arrives. Take the baby bath thermometer. The cheapest one looks like a rubber duck. Place it in the tub and if the bathwater is too hot, these words magically appear on its tummy: “TOO HOT.”?

You’d have to be convinced that you’re incapable of testing the temperature with your own hand before you’d buy the gadget. But that’s what that crafty duck is out to do: undermine your confidence in your childrearing

capabilities.

(Forget that the instructions on the package remind adults to “ALWAYS” check the temperature with their hands first!) It’s hard to feel secure about being a good mom when every decision is fraught with consequences.

Things have changed dramatically in a single generation. The worries that make us hyperventilate didn’t even faze our moms. It’s just that then people didn’t see every tiny parenting decision as a big deal.

They didn’t sweat the way we do because they were reading Dr Spock, the child-care guru of the 1950s and 60s, who famously began his book Baby and Child Carewith the words: “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do. Not, Freak out! Your baby is at a super-important stage and you must devote every fibre of your being to helping him ace it.”?

Today is a day to thank those moms for all they did. It’s also a day to thank the current crop of moms, stuck trying to do their best in the face of a parenting culture that’s insisting, “You’re not doing it right!”? Yes we are. Or at least we’re doing it right enough, thank you, and the odds are very much on our side.

Lenore Skenazy is the author of Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry

• This article was originally published on page 23 of The Mercury on July 13, 2009

The Role of play in your child’s development

PLAYING TO LEARN

Playing is your baby’s job! When you’re ten months old, anything and everything can seem new and interesting. Most activities represent opportunities for fun and learning – whether it is seeing what happens when you slowly push your dinner, piece by piece over the edge of your feeding tray, or emptying Mummy’s handbag all over the floor while she’s busy talking to her friend. Even the most common of routines, like taking a bath, can be turned into a challenging game as you help your baby sink an empty bottle under the water to produce big bubbles. With a little imagination, you can constantly encourage your child’s development through play. Learn to see the “fun potential” in objects around the home and during daily activities. For instance, that cardboard box you were going to throw out could provide hours of entertainment. And why not distract your little one when changing his nappy by teaching him to clap along to a familiar nursery rhyme. By trying to look at every situation through your baby’s eyes, you can quickly find ways to make it more entertaining and even educational.

LEARNING TO PLAY

Babies learn through play, but they also need a hand learning how to make the most of playing. Your little one watches your every move, and most of his actions and reactions are modelled on your behaviour. So your guidance and encouragement can help him become more inquisitive, confident and sociable. Involve your baby in your activities whenever possible, turn chores into games and prompt him to investigate how objects feel, sound, or move. Point out interesting things when you’re out together – remember, his language comprehension is already well underway even though he isn’t yet talking. Get together with other babies – one is never too young to make friends! And always offer lots of reassurance as you encourage him to explore new surroundings, interact with new people and try out new activities. He needs to know you’re there, offering security and familiarity, while he is busy being sociable and adventurous.

Source: Pampers Newsletter

She’s pregnant

On the topic of pregnancy, here is something from the lighter side and although Egyptian in context SA Muslims can still see the humor: (cut and paste from islamonline.net):

What Honey, You’re Pregnant!

(Part 1)

By  Yasser Aboudouma

Writer, Civil Engineer – Egypt

There are common arguments, especially in Egypt, that are repeated daily between each husband and his lovely and adorable wife, who by the way is pregnant for the first time!

Usually, the story begins when the wife suspects that she is pregnant. She runs to the nearest lab for a pregnancy test, and once she is confirmed pregnant, all her life is changed and her husband’s life is pushed to the edge, or more pointedly, to the verge of collapse.

“I have to see a good doctor,” the wife says.

“But, your doctor is good and she has a good reputation,” replies the husband.

With the start of a period of pregnancy, there are a lot of requests, orders, and special considerations, and the poor husband has to listen and obey, because her majesty is going through her first pregnancy!

* * *

First Month

Wife: I want to see a male doctor like all my girlfriends. My doctor is old and boring.

Husband: Honey, you are veiled, and there is no necessity to visit a male doctor; and whether your doctor is old or young, what matters is her experience and qualifications. If you don’t feel comfortable with your doctor, we can look for another female doctor.

Wife: NO! I know that females are not that experienced in medicine.

Husband: (mumbling) In everything, not only medicine!

The arguments continue till the husband succeeds in convincing his wife that another female doctor would be good, especially that she is a little younger than the previous doctor. But, the wife is still unhappy as the new doctor does not have the latest high technology of ultrasonography.

Wife: See! This doctor also failed to show me the baby.

Husband: Honey, you are still in your first month, there is no baby to see.

Wife: My friend’s doctor showed her the baby in her first month, and the baby was moving, plus she could hear his heartbeat.

Husband: Oh yeah! And the baby was walking too, right! In the first month, the baby looks like a dot.

As usual, that argument ends with going to one of the private hospitals where there are the latest medical equipment. At the hospital, the doctor explains to the wife that there is no way any instrument can show a baby, its movement, or its heartbeat, as the baby is not big enough. Finally, they quietly return back home and the wife realizes that she has to wait.

* * *

Second Month

The second month of pregnancy means nausea and cravings for certain foods. Hormones start to increase rapidly, which affects the pregnant woman’s behavior with her husband and her colleagues at work. Be careful if you have pregnant women at your company and/or office.

Wife: Honey, I have a craving for watermelon with no seeds.

Husband: I have never heard of that! Watermelon with no seeds!

Wife: That’s not my concern. I crave for it and I want it. Do you want our baby to be born with a birthmark?

Wife: I think my tummy is a little bigger than normal. I believe I have twins!

Husband: No, your tummy is still the same, and the doctor told us that you have a single baby, not twins.

Wife: So! Maybe the doctor could not see him.

Day after day, this kind of dialogue goes on and on, especially when the wife goes to work. Expect your pregnant wife to return from work in a bad mood, nervous, and quite, quite mad because …

Wife: (nervously) I have to quit work. I will give them my resignation tomorrow.

.

I can’t handle work and all the people there. It’s OVER!

Husband: What happened?

Wife: Imagine. At the weekly meeting, my manager suggested something that should be done. I told him that I don’t think it’s beneficial to work. He kept arguing with me, and he wasn’t convinced by what I said.

Husband: That’s normal. He is your boss, and he has a right to argue with you about work.

Wife: Men, men, men! You are one of them, and all men are the same – sure you’ll defend him. No, he has no right to do so and no right to argue with me; he meant to irritate me. All of the men in the meeting, and the world, have to take a one-way trip to Iraq, and I’m ready to pay for the tickets!

Wife: Also, that girl in the meeting, instead of supporting me and taking my side, she supported him and made more suggestions that I have to implement.

Husband: Honey, it’s normal; that girl is your close friend and she has always been kind to you.

Wife: NO! It’s not normal. They have to know that I’m pregnant and my increasing hormones affect my mood, so they shouldn’t argue with me at all!

Husband: Sweetheart, let’s forget all about work – what do we have for dinner today?

Wife: (In a very shy, soft, and passive voice) Honey, do you want something to eat today? I was nervous today and needed to rest because I was worried about the baby. But there’s a tin of tuna in the kitchen.

Husband: What! You will not join me for dinner?

Wife: No. When I had finished the meeting, I returned to my office and ordered some food to help me relax.

Days will pass, and life will crawl along slowly until “this woman” reaches her third month of pregnancy.

* * *

Third Month

In this month, the pregnant wife is assured that she has a single baby. Hormones increase rapidly, which affect the routine of her life and make her feel lazy and sleepy most of the time. She will be curious to see the baby each and every day, and she will want to trace its growth accordingly.

Wife: Yesterday, the doctor didn’t show me the baby well. The baby’s hand didn’t show up clearly.

Husband: Don’t worry. The doctor and I saw the baby, and it looked really great.

Wife: I’m not asking for what you and the doctor did or didn’t see! I have to re-visit the doctor next week, and I’ll ask her to show me the baby.

Husband: She arranged the next appointment for next month, not next week.

Wife: No problem. She won’t remember, and my friend told me that her doctor had ultrasound and showed her the baby on a weekly basis.

Husband: Honey, your friend is in her sixth month, while you are in your third.

Wife: Arrrrrgh! Stop arguing with me. You are just like my colleagues at work; useless!

Or the dialogue may go back to the size of the wife’s “tummy”!

Wife: Honey, I think my tummy is starting to get bigger.

Husband: No dear, I think it is still the normal size.

Wife: You see, my pregnant friends told me so. They also told me that in the third month my tummy starts to get bigger. Plus, I’ll feel the baby’s movement and I’ll hear his heartbeats too.

Arguments, arguments, arguments; your life will be all about arguments with your sweet, pregnant wife! You have to be patient and quiet, and you must support her, even if she surprises you by trying to manipulate everything for her own benefit.

Wife: Honey, I want to eat something.

Husband: What’s that, sweetheart? We can have it delivered here.

Wife: I wish to eat at that restaurant we went to on the day we got married.

Husband: Yeah, but it’s far away from here and previously you complained that you get tired from being in the car, especially for long distances.

Wife: No, no. If we go to that restaurant, I won’t feel tired.

Husband: OK honey, we’ll go this weekend.

Wife: No, I want to go today, NOW – otherwise, the baby will be born with a birthmark! as I crave eating in that restaurant.

Husband: Sweetheart, I understand that pregnant women crave for certain kinds of food, not certain kinds of restaurant!

Wife: Have you ever been pregnant? How would you know about cravings? This is my desire.

Of course, these arguments end in one direction only, the pregnant wife’s direction; and the husband has to admit that he will lose his case to his wife, who represents the half of society, whom we call weak!

________________________________________

Yasser Aboudouma is an Egyptian-Canadian who lives between Cairo and Ontario. He holds a B.Sc. in engineering and a diploma in project management. He is interested in issues of social and cultural differences and can be reached at yasser_aboudouma@yahoo.ca.

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Just had to put this somewhere:)

Have fun with your 8-month old…

Get reading!

FYI:

It’s never too soon to start reading to your baby – it will stimulate his brain development starting in infancy and continuing all the way through his childhood. And it’s fun for both of you. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends reading aloud daily to your child starting at six months. When he’s very young, pictures with bright colours and sharp contrast will grab his attention and soon enough, the words will start to sink in. So pick up a storybook, magazine or even a novel; at this point, it’s the fact that you’re reading rather than what you read that’s most important. You’ll be a model for your baby to imitate throughout his life.

Big fun for little people

Going crazy being cooped up inside? Then go for a walk. Put your baby in an infant backpack and be sure to point out trees and birds – or buses and lorries – along the way. If weather won’t permit, sit down on the floor facing your baby and roll a ball back and forth with him. Make sure the ball is soft in case he decides he wants to throw it instead. When you tire of playing with the ball, try rolling a toy car, kitchen towel roll or empty poster tube.

LOL…here’s your chance

ATTENTION Mummies……

Here’s your chance to get yourself heard. Insha allah we at MuslimMums.co.za want to make this forum as interactive and as about YOU as possible. To get things started, we invite you to contribute something simple (no research required)…tell us in not more than 300 words something funny, naughty your Little One has done…

Anything from sucking your cellphone to mashing potatoes on your carpet…

Go on…get talking:)