Giveaway: Durban Baby Expo double tickets

We have 5 sets of double tickets to give away for the Durban Baby Expo this weekend – FRIDAY entry only – Email your contact details to kailas.bergman@fleishman.co.za to stand in line…

Language development in children

From: www.kidenuf.wordpress.com
July 21, 2011

‘Mmm becomes mamma, mum, mummy, and mother’
Miraculously most babies are able to express themselves using language by the time they are two years old. This skill is unconsciously learnt without hours spent on formal lessons! Children learn language through interaction with the people around them. Many linguists and researchers believe that the ability to learn language is instinctive just as it is for birds to sing. Language is something children are born with, a genetic or an innate ability.
Language is acquired in stages and each stage is reached at different times by different children. The critical time for acquiring language is from birth until puberty. Amazingly, children are able to learn two or even a third language at the same time as long as they are continually experiencing some form of interaction in these languages. Researchers say that structural changes in the brain during puberty make it difficult for people to learn a language as they grow older. I’m certain that there are many adults who will agree with this!
The order in which each stage is reached remains the same. The different stages children will go through are:
Six weeks: Babies will begin making vowel sounds, starting with ‘aah’, ‘ee’, and ‘ooh’.
6-10 months: Babies play around with the sounds of words. This is the babbling stage where ‘mamma’ or ‘dada’ is used. Children attach no meaning to these words but after repeatedly seeing the joy it brings to their parents, they will remember the sound and then repeat it!
1 year: The first words are taken from the environment, supported by gestures. Children enjoy rhymes accompanied by movement to the words of these rhymes.
1-1-1/2 years: Children may say single words with meaning like ‘doggy’. You may notice two successive word sentences and an increase in vocabulary like ‘hey, hey, hey, your berday!’
2 years: Conjunctions and prepositions are not used often. Children may say ‘Where you?’ They may enjoy repetition and being told the same story over and over.
21/2- 3 years: Longer and complete sentences using prepositions and conjunctions are used-‘I want my doll!’
3-31/2 years: Children start telling stories. Start of ‘Wh’ questions. They may still over regularize, ‘I should have broughten you an apple!’
4-5 years: Children interact more socially. They learn phrases and words from friends. Phrases like ‘I’ll tell on you!’ are used. Five year olds display greater ability in using language e.g. are able to use plurals like ‘ing’ at the end of words. They are able to combine sentences and they have the ability to use past and future tenses as opposed to restricting conversations only to the present. They are also able to self-correct sentences and those of others e.g. A three year old says, ‘The dog bended the stick. The five year old corrects the three year old by saying, ‘not bended say ‘bent!’
5-6 years: Children will have most of the rules of the language. They are also aware of using appropriate language in different situations eg. They will talk to a baby differently as opposed to talking to their teacher. Vocabulary continues to be developed.
When oral language is used effectively and developed further then just the innate ability, children begin to understand themselves, people and the world around them better. Being able to communicate their needs and emotions is vital for building strong relationships and advancing academically. Parents and caregivers play a vital role in assisting children to develop language further.
Adults have a special way of talking to babies. ‘Baby talk’ helps children to acquire language. Adults tend to use words slightly more difficult then the stage at which children are at but are simpler then the language adults use when talking to each other. This is important because it guides children along especially because it is slower, exaggerated in tone and is filled with repetition and questions.
Children who are given opportunities to experiment with language and are not ridiculed for making mistakes will continue trying and their language will develop further. A good way to correct a child is not to say, ‘Don’t say GLUB!’ but to say, ‘I saw you drink your water in one big GULP!” In this way children learn the correct word without being embarrassed which is one of the reasons why adults don’t learn a second or third language quickly.
When children are given opportunities to appreciate the sounds language has to offer they learn to use language stylistically. The change in rhythm and alliteration of songs and poems is exciting to the ear and children learn to adopt these ways of using language by singing and reciting nursery rhymes and poems.
Listening to stories is a valuable and wonderful way of learning language. Parents may find children wanting to hear the same story repeatedly. Children who are able to repeat ‘read’ these stories find it motivational because they are experimenting with language in a safe and predictable environment!
Providing children with opportunities to participate during daily routines like baking, cleaning the house, setting the table and washing the car provides them with valuable time to interact with people around them. Encouraging children to participate in ‘free play’ which has limited or no adult interference is helpful in acquiring language. The opportunity to participate in conversations with their friends during free play allows children to expand their vocabulary and learn phrases specific to particular activities.
Children who have caregivers and parents who really listen to them without pretending to listen become more confident to use language. Allowing children to interact with as many different people enriches their language learning experience because they have many models to extract from. Some children are more willing to express themselves verbally then others. Others prefer one to one discussion or to listen intently. Each child creatively makes sense of language in their own way and must be allowed to do this.
Just as children learn a first language, so can they learn a second or even a third language. The more interaction children have in a particular language the more they will learn that language. It is only as children grow up do they choose a language they want to communicate in. This choice is dependent on the purpose the language serves in helping them to progress. The ability to successfully communicate verbally lays the foundation for reading and later for writing. Proficiency in language can determine educational and financial success as well as social and cultural belonging in a community. It is through this sense of belonging that children find a comfortable and happy existence!

Writing workshop (Durban)

The ‘Write’ Stuff
Writing well is vital for success in school, at tertiary level, in the workplace and now more than ever when interacting with modern technology.

Expressing their thoughts in words teaches children to:
Discover their identity
Stimulate their imagination and artistic strengths
Clarify their thoughts and helps to organise their ideas logically
Relate important messages
Writing is a skill which can be learnt. Give your child the confidence of to write his own speech, essay, presentation or letter!

Workshop includes:
3x 2hour sessions for Grades 4-7
Date: 28, 29 and 30 June
Time: 10:00- 12:00
Venue: Al Falaah College
Cost: R300 (Includes notes)

The workshop will cover:
Choosing topics, planning/drafting, writing styles and editing

Contact: Khadija Lockhat (BEd Honours-Lang and Media Studies)
082 555 1431
031 266 2649
khatija@lockhat.com

 

kidenuf.wordpress.com

Winter: The Best Season!

Source: eislam.co.za
Some ways to enjoy it!!!!

It is said that winter is a time when people suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as ‘the Winter Blues’ or winterdepression. However, it is interesting to see how Muslims welcomewinter, as it is clear that they see it in a totally different light.
The Noble Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) is reported to have said: “Winter is the best season for the believer. Its nights are long for him to pray in, and its days are short for him to fast in.” [Hadith-Majma’ az-Zawa’id’ (3/203)]
‘Umar bin al-Khattab(RA) said: “Winter is the prize of the worshippers.”
You can increase your good deeds, take care of your obligations and earn the Pleasure of Allaah all at the same time! Here are some ways to would benefit from winter:

Fasting and praying

Winter is the best season for the believer because Allah makes worship easy for him. This is because in winter, the believer can fast during the day with ease without suffering from hunger and thirst. The days are short and cold, and he therefore doesn’t feel the hardship of fasting…
It is reported The Prophet Muhammad said: “Fasting in the winter is the easy prize.”
“And the meaning of it being an easy prize is that it is a prize obtained without any battle or effort or hardship. So, the owner of this prize has been given it as a favor without any effort on his part.”
We all know that making up the days of missed fasting is fardh (compulsory) on every adult Muslim man and woman and not doing so is a sin. So if we have missed a fast for a valid reason (travel, sickness etc) we need to “catch-up”.
Thus, we should hasten to fast the number of days we missed. And what better opportunity than this? How much easier could it get? The days are short and the weather is cool, so you don’t really get thirsty or even feel hungry.
Allaah, in his Infinite Mercy, is providing us with an easy opportunity to seek rewards from Him. So shouldn’t we take it up? Abu Hurayrah RA said to some people: “Shall I not point you to comfortable proceeds?” They asked, “And what is that O, Abu Hurayrah?” He replied, “Fasting in winter.”
As for praying at night in the winter due to its long nights, one can have his share of sleep and then get up to pray afterwards and recite all that he usually recites of the Qur’an while he has had enough sleep. So, he can combine between the sleep that he needs and the usual amount of recitation of the Qur’an that he completes in a day. So, he fulfills the interests of both his religion and the comfort of his body…
And it was narrated that Ibn Mas’ud said: “Welcome to winter! Blessings descend in it, its nights are long to pray in, and its days are short to fast in.” This is why Mu’adh(RA) wept on his deathbed and said: “I weep because I will miss the thirst I felt when I fasted, praying at night during the winter, and sitting knee to knee with the scholars during the gatherings of knowledge.””

Caring for the poor

The Prophet Muhammad said: “Whoever feeds a hungry believer will be fed by Allah on the Day of Judgement from the fruits of Paradise, and whoever quenches his thirst will have his thirst quenched from the Sealed Nectar, and whoever clothes him will be clothed from the green silk of Paradise.”
In many parts of the world there is so much difficulty associated withwinter. Extreme cold, poor heating, hunger etc. There is so much we can do such as:
· Organise some blankets for the poor and destitute
· Start a community soup kitchen
· Help elderly by offering them a lift in the cold
· Visiting the elderly and sick in our community
Try and involve our family and community in these activities. Buy some gloves and warm hats and take your kids along to distribute it to the needy. There is so much good we can do if we just put ourselves forward.

Remembering the realities of Hell

It is reported that the Prophet Muhammad said: “Hell complained to its Lord, saying: “Parts of me have consumed the other parts.” So, He allowed it two breaths of exhalation: one in winter and one in summer. As for its breath in winter, that is the bitter cold, and its breath in the summer is the extreme heat.”
Among the virtues of winter is that it reminds one of the extreme cold of Hell and pushes one to seek refuge from it and to do such noble actions that will ensure one is protected from Jahannam(Hell)

Spend Quality time with your family indoors

As it is cold we can enjoy quality time indoors with our family which we find generally difficult in these times as we are all “busy”! Plan and do such activities that will bond the family and bring us closer to Allaah. Read good Islamic books while cuddling under your cozy blanket, ask the kids to help you in household activities, spend more quality time with your spouse and kids. Be innovative and have fun within the confinements of Sharia.
So, these examples show that winter time is a special time that we should mark not by being down and inactive, but rather by being pro-active in reviving our energy in worship and servitude to Allah.
And actually, if you think about it, the winter is a big blessing from among the innumerable, uncountable blessings of Allaah. He is honoring us by the bounty of His Giving, His gracious Blessing and His great Favor, so that we may be able to pray at night, fast during the day and worship Him.

May Allaah, Most High enable us all to make better use of our winters. Ameen.

Womenomics

Womenomics
By Tendani Mantshimuli, Consumer Economist at Liberty Retail SA

On Wednesday the Finance Minister stood in front of the nation and told us how the national government finances are faring. And things are looking good, so the minister might be able to offer some relief to low income earners and the poor, albeit not to the same extent we saw in the years when economic growth averaged 5%.

I know you are thinking, but why should I as a woman care about that? Men handle the finances don’t they?

But we all know that isn’t true, as a woman you are a career girl and probably have more opportunities, more choices and more challenges than ever before. According to a study by Accenture, women buy 51% of all new cars in the USA and 85% of all consumer goods.

So ladies now is the time to start looking at your finances and making sure that your future is financially sound.

But before you start blaming your lack of understanding of economic terminology as a reason for not taking notice of your finances, here are a few basics to know pre-budget speech:

Inflation and CPI are the two most common terms to know.

Inflation is one of the most important economic indicators that tell us the general level of prices in the economy and how prices are changing.

For example, when inflation is high, that means prices are going up very quickly and when inflation is low that means that prices are staying steady and only rising slowly over time. This is an important measurement because when prices increase, your income will allow you to buy fewer goods and services than before (this might also affect your investment capacity, be it a unit trust or stockvel; wherever or however you are investing your money).

In South Africa, through Statistics SA, uses what is known as a Consumer Price Index or CPI to measure inflation. CPI is the price of a basket of goods and services that a typical family would buy each month, for example, food, rent, transport, electricity, clothing, school fees and entertainment – all the normal things that a typical family would need every month.

Each month, Statistics SA adds up the price of everything in this basket of goods and services and compares it to the price of the same basket of goods in the previous month or year to find out how much the prices have changed in that period.

So for example, if the basket was found to cost R1000.00 in September 2010 but is now costing R1080.00 then we say inflation is 8% since the CPI has increased by 8%.

Now that the basics are out the way, one of the key focus areas at the budget speech is on pension reform and social grants.

Government announced last year that it would expand the social grants network with a phased extension of recipients of child support grant up to 18 years, which has given hope to the more vulnerable members of our community. In the coming budget provision will hopefully be made for increases of old age and pension grant which is currently 1 080 a month while the child grant is expected to increase from the current R250 a month.

The old age grant is designed to provide those with no savings some basic level of protection. It is really critical that you do not fall into this basket, but are able to make use of the tax incentives given to ensure you can maintain your living standards in retirement. A retirement annuity allows you to save for your retirement in a tax efficient manner.

The rule of thumb is that you need about 15 times your annual salary at retirement for 80% of salary adjusted for inflation, to maintain the same standard of living post-retirement. Because women live longer, the multiple is higher than it would be for men.

But the playing fields are far from level when it comes to retirement savings for women versus men. Women in particular need to put careful thought into their retirement plans. There are a number of unique situations applicable to women which cannot be ignored if we are to provide an efficient solution.

Often once a woman starts a family she may elect to leave formal employment in favour of being either a full time mom or work reduced hours with a flexible schedule. One has to ask how many of these women transfer their valuable pension or provident fund benefits into a Preservation Fund or Retirement Annuity to create a nest egg for their future. Or are they accessing this amount now to reduce their costs and make their decision to stay at home more viable? In addition, does the reduced income in the household allow for her to continue with some form of retirement plan going forward?

Additional savings need to be made to compensate for the time spent out of the workforce.

On the other hand a working woman needs to have a plan that is independent of their husbands’ or at least one that considers her own needs. If they have children or are considering starting a family, their retirement plan must take into account a possible break in employment, even if only for a short time, whilst on maternity leave. If it takes a dual income to run the family now, no doubt in order to maintain their standard of living, a dual income will be required in the retirement years.

Generally women live approximately seven years longer than men and you will find an alarming trend that women are falling short of their retirement goals. In fact statistics show that a woman aged 65 years will need approximately 15% more than a man of the same age to provide the same pension for the rest of her life.

The above advice isn’t something you should consider just around budget speech, it should be something you look at all the time. As a woman you are the boss of your cash and your life so make sure you know what is happening in the world around you.

Meeting the needs of children in the classroom

By Claire Marketos

www.inspiredparenting.co.za

We all agree that teaching in South African Government Schools is challenging. Large classes; children speaking different languages of varying abilities in the same class; enough admin to employ a full time PA; a controlling bureaucratic education department treating teacher’s like puppets on a string; and of course poor pay, lack of resources and support. It is not surprising that talented, creative teacher’s soon become disillusioned or change careers leaving us with boring, uninspiring classrooms where our children’s needs are not being met.

Over regulation of teachers and they in turn of students has led to complacency. The focus on teaching and testing facts has left little time for individual, original, and innovative learning. As Alfie Kohn a foremost educator says: “It’s best to see what we do through the eyes of those to whom it’s done.” Ask our learners how they feel about school and most children will respond negatively.

Do we continue ignoring the moans of our children that school is boring and repetitive and carry on helplessly; blaming the education department and apartheid for our impasse or do we look to our children for inspiration? Here are simple things that can be done in any classroom regardless of the status quo which gives children what they need to be happy and successful.

Children need to feel acknowledged and connected to their teachers. At my son’s school in Johannesburg the teachers greet every child in their class and ask them how they are doing before class starts. This simple gesture which takes only a couple of minutes ensures each child is acknowledged and feels important. Nurturing a connection between teachers and learners helps protect the child against emotional problems, as the teacher is aware of any concerns the child may have. Sometimes the teacher is the only adult the child can bond with. Even with forty children in a class all the children can be acknowledged in five minutes by their teacher before classes start.

Children need to be involved in the learning process. Not allowing children a say in how they learn is naïve. Children are incredibly creative and resourceful. They have the ability to choose exciting ways of learning and will enthusiastically pursue the information they need to complete the learning process. If we want new, independent thinkers we need to stop stifling our children’s natural curiosity. While we all need guidelines to work from, allowing children to be involved in planning lessons and choosing themes will not distract from the core learning aspects, which the teacher can incorporate. Stimulating, novel ideas will emerge as children take responsibility for their work and behavior.

The grade R class my son was in chose their themes for the year, with excited young learners bringing books and dinosaurs to class and even becoming dinosaurs as their imaginations were set free. Grade 6 learners, if asked, would rather devise, plan, and run their own little ’business’ for a couple of weeks instead of filling words  in yet another boring worksheet, when covering the learning outcome of ‘entrepreneurial knowledge’, for the third year. Yet no one bothers to ask them!

Children need to develop reading, research, analytical, and questioning skills for self development and a democratic society. Even children who are learning in their second language can with the assistance of a teacher develop questioning and research skills while improving their command of the language of learning.  The spotlight on producing high marks distracts teachers from the learning process. The experience the children have and the skills they develop as they are learning should be the primary concern of all educators. For example, interviewing people working in technology and Science, and studying environmentally friendly projects that are successfully making money while preserving the environment, will not only make the learning outcome of ‘the interrelationship between science, society and the environment,’ real for learners, but will lead to discussions on global warming, and a responsibility to develop pollution free technology. Most companies and professionals would jump at the opportunity to talk to children if asked; all it takes is a phone call from the teacher. Learners may even be invited to participate in ongoing projects businesses have implemented. The value of a learning experience such as this surpasses any grade a child can get by filling in a worksheet.

Children need to be building on the foundation of their knowledge rather than redoing work they already know. Having children of mixed abilities in the same class requires the teacher to be creative and create a learning environment that will meet the needs of ALL the learners. Even in schools where there is no money available, this can be done by sharing resources and ideas with other schools and teachers; downloading information from the internet; using the local library; fund raising for computers to be accessible to children in the classroom; using resources in newspapers or putting pressure on the powers that be to produce or import material. ‘A one size fits all’ approach in our classrooms is not working as brighter pupils are bored most of the time, and many children with learning difficulties don’t receive the help they need.

Making students wait while other learners receive assistance or making them repeat work they already know is limiting their potential and encouraging behaviour problems. For example children that can add and subtract do not need to complete 20 sums to ‘practice’ their skills, they need to be solving mathematical problems incorporating addition and subtraction. Learners that are still battling with basic concepts in mathematics may benefit from working with bright learners, but they will benefit most from working with concrete apparatus and their teacher so they can grasp the basic concepts. Making children write out their spelling test in rough so it can be written neatly in their English book is teaching them that spelling is boring, tedious and that neatness is more important than the written word. Discovering the meanings of words as children use the words in writing for the theme they have chosen will not only teach them how to spell the words, but it will also teach them how to use the words correctly in context.

Children need alternative assessments to grades. Our obsession with tests is leaving little time for learning as teachers focus on assessment. We kid ourselves into believing that if children are achieving high grades at school it must be a successful learning environment, but are we achieving these results at a cost to the child? If learning is not fun for our children we are failing as educators.

Alfie Kohn in his article ‘Degrading to De-grading’ gives several reasons why assigning a mark to everything children do makes them lose interest in their subjects as well as school. He states:” Grades tend to reduce students’ interest in the learning itself.  One of the most well-researched findings in the field of motivational psychology is that the more people are rewarded for doing something, the more they tend to lose interest in whatever they had to do to get the reward (Kohn, 1993). Grades tend to reduce students’ preference for challenging tasks, and reduces the quality of students’ thinking.  Grades distort the curriculum, and waste a lot of time that could be spent on learning, as well as encouraging cheating. Grades spoil teachers’ relationships with students, and student’s relationships with each other.” As our children need to be involved in the learning process so they need to have a say in their assessment- setting “criteria for excellence” and being able to recognize when a learning outcome has been successful or requires additional work, as one would on any business project.

Children need to be taught by kind, empathic teachers that respect children. Screaming, shouting, demeaning, belittling and threatening children are all punitive ways of controlling children and seldom work as these castigatory ways of interacting with children are repeated over and over. If we want to eradicate bullying in our schools we need to look at what behaviour we are role modelling for our children.

The need to constantly control children by not allowing them to work independently or in groups on different projects because “chaos would ensue” is an awfully narrow minded approach to education. Teachers that feel they can’t cope in this type of learning environment should ask for assistance from parents who would be willing to be teacher’s aides, and for resources such as computers, enrichment and remedial material which can be obtained online or from other countries. Team teaching, giving student teachers the opportunity to spend time in classrooms each week, hiring remedial and ESL (Engish second language) teachers if English is the medium of learning are other ways of ensuring the needs of all the pupils can be met.

Children need to be able to learn through experimentation. Giving children the answers to fill in on a worksheet or criticizing them for making mistakes is a breakdown on the teacher’s part to comprehend how children learn. Tryputting yourself in the children’s shoes and imagine how they must feel when they are constantly being evaluated and criticized for learning. If you are always being reprimanded for speaking out, questioning your teacher and daring to experiment new ways of doing things, is it any wonder we have a deficit of analytical thinkers in South Africa. Most teacher’s who identify with the criticisms in this article will understand how the children feel because they do not like being questioned about their methods of teaching.

The teacher’s role should be to facilitate the learning process, as learners present, discuss and debate. Making mistakes is an essential part of learning and children should not be shamed for their errors. They should rather be encouraged to problem solve an alternative solution.

Children need to be taught study skills and simple note taking as part of learning. From the moment children can write sentences they can be taught to take simple notes, create mind maps, and make up silly rhymes, acronyms and mnemonics to remember their work.

Children learn best from notes written in their own words in language appropriate for their age. Giving them study notes written in adult language to study from is not only difficult for children to understand and relate to, but also discriminates against children who are learning in a second language or have learning difficulties. Good study skills take years to master and need to be included in the student’s daily lessons, so that it becomes a part of learning. It is frustrating and arduous for a child to try to apply what they have learnt on a study skills course to their class notes. While worksheets that guide learning have a place in education, pack them away for a month and watch how your learner’s writing and note taking skills improve. 

Children need teachers who can act as mediators. Facilitating dialogue between children in conflict can take 5 or 10 minutes of break time, empowering children with empathy and the appropriate words to express themselves, helping reduce the cycle of violence in our schools. Teachers who are perceptive enough to know when children are not getting along and put time aside for an intervention are teaching them that it is never acceptable to be a bystander when someone needs help.

Children need their basic needs met. For most children in South Africa having food, shelter, and love is not something they receive on a daily basis. School may be the only sanctuary they have, and so while teachers are not social workers sometimes they need to step in and organize help for the child.

Clearly South African schools provide a unique learning environment. To those teachers who are inspiring our children and making learning fun, THANK YOU! You are a light in the darkness May you be rewarded for your passion. To those career turn to your learners for inspiration and let them excel as their needs are being met. In the words of Nelson Mandela “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Parenting Series | Part I: Swimming Against The Current

Source: Umm Reem • MuslimMatters.org

We are living in a strange time of rat races, struggling to keep up with others around us. This race is not only limited to our wealth, status, or any other type of materialism, but also includes the way we carry out many of our daily roles in life, especially as parents. The way we raise our children and the values/goals we set for them has become a matter of competition. The definition of a good parent, in our world, revolves around how comfortably our children are raised, how much money we are able to collect and spend on them, the amount of good, fresh food that is provided daily, and what “type” of secular education we are able to provide for them. The more we are able to provide of these worldly things, the better we are perceived as fulfilling parents.

As bound by our nature, we follow the herd, meaning the norm of our society. Similarly, we pass on the same goals and priorities to our children. Even if someone desires to live a different lifestyle, it is very easy to succumb to the daily grind because of our surrounding environment.

However, as Muslim parents we are entrusted with responsibilities beyond the success of this world. Hence, we cannot afford to go with the flow if we do not know where this flow will ultimately take us. Therefore, it is binding upon a Muslim parent to know:

• What our goal is as parents
• Who our role models should be

If our ultimate goal is strictly bound to the benefits of this world, then we can follow the trends of this world and our worries are limited; wishing only for our children a good education, a college degree, and a STDs/drug free life. On the other hand, if we have the next world in mind, then we must set ourselves additional values and goals which probably require swimming against the current, which is an extremely challenging and almost impossible task, unless stimulated by a solid motivation.

Why Set Superior Goals?

Why do we have to be the odd parent struggling to move against the current and creating more trouble for ourselves and complications for our child/ren? In a nutshell, remember we are alive not to focus on this world but rather to aim for the next world.

In my humble opinion, a loving parent is not one whose only focus is to fill his/her children’s stomachs, find them the best clothing, provide them with a comfortable place to live, and concentrate on their higher education.  I believe that TRUE love is reflected in how much attention is paid to the real purpose of their existence and to their final destination.

I was told about a young Pakistani man who had recently graduated with a Master’s degree from abroad and then returned to his motherland. He was an only child and his parents had “done it all” for their only son from the time he was born; they provided him with a luxurious upbringing and the best education of their time. However, and unfortunately, it didn’t include any religious guidance as that did not seem to be of value or importance. Disappointing to say, the young man fell sick and was diagnosed with cancer in its last stages. When he was hospitalized, he met an old man who talked to him about life after death, heaven and hell, and his last journey. That day, the young man cried like a little baby for he was not prepared for his journey, and he had nothing to take to his real destination. He questioned his parents about their negligence, looking at his degrees and achievements in dismay. How can his Master’s help salvage him? His parents realized their error but could only rue their heedlessness. Nevertheless, he was blessed during his final hours with a teacher who helped him learn salah, the Qur’an, and more of the basics of Islamic knowledge. I do not know if this young man lived or if he rests in his grave now, but I do hope and pray that Allah ‘azza wa jall accepted his efforts, grants him Jannah, and forgives him and his parents. Ameen.

Let’s keep in mind that not everyone gets a last minute opportunity to make up for life-long negligence. Death comes unannounced and at the least expected moments; it is a reality that we can all be assured of. The question is, how many of us are preparing our children for that inevitable moment?

My daughter is fatally allergic to peanuts. A few years back, she had an accidental exposure to peanuts, causing an extremely dangerous reaction. On our way to the ER, she was throwing up, breathing abnormally, and her lips were turning blue. As I held her head in my arms, she whispered to me, “It’s okay mama, everyone has to die some day!” Her eyes rolled backwards (I will never forget that sight), and I thought we were going to lose her before we made it to the hospital. She was in indescribable pain, and as a mother I felt helpless because I couldn’t do anything for her.  All I wanted was for her to stop hurting, but I couldn’t take her pain away. To make a long story short, alhamdulillah no ill became of her; a short stay in the ER of the hospital and we were able to return home the same night. Still, that day I realized my limitations as a parent. When I thought I would lose her, I was willing to exchange my soul for hers, but it was a useless and absurd bargain to even think of. I realized that if those were her last moments, nothing would have benefitted her except her preparations for her final destination. My children might travel on their last journey before I do, and it is a journey they have to take alone. I will not be able to help them at this time and can only help them get ready for their meeting with the angel of death.

So, dear parents, while we prepare our children for their interview at an Ivy League school or for a big job, we cannot and must not forget about their ultimate interview and meeting with the angel of death. And with this in mind, we must aim to raise our children in a way appropriate and safe for their akhirah as well as their dunya,insha’Allah.

Having said this, I am not undermining secular education by any means. I am a firm believer that a secular education is very important for our children, particularly during this era. They must know and understand the world they live in, which is for their benefit; they must also be educated to secure a good job and be self-sufficient as a Muslim should be.

Yet, we must find a balance when we raise Muslim children while aiming for the akhirah, all the while doing well in this dunya. Our children study at school for 8 hours a day and come home with tons of homework, so where do we “fit in” Islam into their lives?  This is the question posed in every Muslim parent’s mind whose kids are not homeschooled or are not attending an Islamic school.

I wish I had a step-by-step guide for every parent according to their child’s type and age. Unfortunately, I don’t. And although I am not an expert in this field, I have a few suggestions to offer parents, some based on my own experience as a parent, some from counseling teenagers and other parents, and some based on simple observations.

Let us keep in mind that Islam is not a “subject” that we teach as a second-language or like sports training for soccer or football where we train/educate for a few hours during the day and then forget all about it until the next class. Rather, it is our religion, a way of life, and should be dealt with and taught like any daily ritual of our lives. In other words, instill our religion in their everyday lives, so it is indigenous to them.  It obviously requires a lot of effort from us as parents but be assured our good effort is never wasted:

“…then Allah surely does not waste the reward of the doers of good.” (12:90)

Better yet, we will thus achieve our goal, insha’Allah, and our children will become a sadaqah jaariyyah (ongoing charity) for us, not to mention that they will secure their akhirah, by the mercy of Allah.

“When a person dies, all his deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge (which he has left behind), or a righteous child who will pray for him.”

Let us be assured that it is, perhaps, the bare minimum requirement of being a “Muslim” parent, for the Prophet of Allah (sallAllahu alayhi wasalam) said:

“Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The imaam is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and is responsible for her flock. A servant is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his flock…” (Bukhaari; Muslim)

Our children are entrusted to us by Allah ‘azza wa jall, so we must set proper values for them and direct their lives in the correct direction. If we neglect our responsibilities, then not only do we become partially responsible for spoiling our children’s akhirah (if they go astray), but we also subject ourselves to punishment. Remember the Day when we will flee from our children; it will not be for any other reason but out of fear that they might question us about their neglected rights:

“That Day shall a man flee from his brother, And from his mother and his father, And from his wife and his children. Every man, that Day, will have enough to make him careless of others.” (80:34-37)

After all this, how can we not have the akhirah as the ultimate goal for our children, and how can we not aim forJannah for our children? How can we neglect their akhira and not prioritize their deen in their lives?

Dear parents, it is strange that when it comes to this world, we always have high goals for our children and our expectations know no bounds, but when it comes to their real destiny, we aim for the bare minimum. We never settle for just high school, but rather from the time of their birth we remain ever consistent with the hope of at least a Bachelor’s degree. On the other hand, when it comes to their akhirah, we are pleased with ‘as long as they pray’, ‘fast Ramadan’, or ‘fulfill the fundamental 5 pillars’ for the entirety of their existence!

The upcoming articles in this Parenting series are a brief summary of “The Parenting Workshop” I have given in the US and in Doha to a Western audience. Henceforth, let us proceed to practical steps of achieving our goal,insha’Allah.

http://muslimmatters.org/2010/12/15/parenting-series-part-i-introduction/

Weblink: Learn the Quran through Lego

Shukran to Brother Yacoob for sharing this amazing website Teaching Kids the Holy Quran http://readwithmeaning.wordpress.com/

Revitalizing Islamic Education for Children

by Ismail Kamdar
MuslimMatters.org

In grade 7, I asked my Islamic studies teacher why we were studying Seerah again. He replied that we are studying it with a bit more detail this time. It was the fourth time we were studying Seerah since grade one and I could not see the benefit in the repeat syllabus. Reflecting back now, no one took Islamic Studies very seriously when we were in school.
A good example was when the teacher told us to memorize the 99 names of Allah for a test. I was the only boy in my class who did so, and even that I forgot a few months later. I am not proud of this but it shows something about the Islamic studies syllabus and how much students cared about it in a renowned Islamic school.
Many years later, I would discover that Islamic knowledge is beautiful and exciting to learn and my life would begin to revolve around it. This raises the question as to why the Islamic studies syllabus in school did not have the same effect on me?
I have identified some of the problems and proposed some solutions. Feel free to add your own:

Problems:

1. The syllabus is too basic
In terms of Arabic, from grade 1 till 12, we only studied an amount which we could have learned in one year outside of school. In fact, the children whom I teach Arabic to privately are way ahead of their classes in school and get an average of 99-100% on school tests. This shows that children have the potential to learn a lot more Arabic in a shorter space of time. The Arabic syllabus in schools needs to be revamped and it should not downplay the potential of students to grasp the language.
It is not just Arabic. The Aqeedah syllabus in some high schools where I have taught or studied is no different from that of the primary levels. Nothing interesting, new or even important is taught which the students have not already learned. When the syllabus is too simple and students feel they already know a subject, their minds switch off and they lose interest. Islam is so vast and so deep, why is it that we underestimate our children and teenagers and limit their access to knowledge to only the basics?

2. Content is not relevant
The Seerah and stories of the other prophets (peace be upon them all) are a great way to teach young Muslims valuable lessons and provide them with role models. Sadly, many institutes teach these stories as historical facts without delving into any significant lessons. The Seerah, in particular, is taught with a focus on the wars and battles, while not much time is spent on the issues of relevance to Muslim youth in Western countries.
There is so much potential to bring these stories to life and make them relevant. Many scholars today like Abdul Hakim Quick and Tariq Ramadan have done this for adults, it’s time we did this for children and teenagers as well. Not only would it make them more interested in history but it will increase their love for the prophets and companions.

3. Uninspiring teachers
Many Islamic studies teachers whom I have met just don’t seem motivated to make a difference. Teaching Islamic studies is their job, their source of income and that’s all. Such teachers cannot have an inspiring impact on their students. It is only those who teach Islam with passion, love, enthusiasm and the desire to ignite change that can motivate students and get them to love Islam and want to practice it. Parents and schools need to focus on such qualities when looking for teachers, and institutes need to work at training teachers who possess these qualities.

4. Teachers not being role models
Too often, I have seen Islamic studies teachers that make me cringe. Whether its a sister who wears hijab in class but you spot her at the beach dressed in the most indecent of manners, or the Moulana who smokes with his students and makes inappropriate comments about their sisters. I have encountered many Islamic studies teachers whose practice is the opposite of what they preach.
Now nobody is perfect and everybody has their faults, and I also understand that there is a difference of opinion on some issues, but when a teacher openly teaches one thing in class but his/her practice in front of students is opposite to this, it causes students to lose respect for the teacher and the subject. As Islamic teachers, we need to be very careful regarding what we say, do or post on the internet.

Proposed Solutions
1. Choose the right syllabus
My favorite Islamic studies syllabus for teenagers is the four-part series written by Dr. Bilal Philips. However, this series is for Grade 7 onwards, I do not know of any syllabus for the grades below that which I am happy with, yet. That is why when I teach, I make my own syllabus as I go along. Any suggestions on a good syllabus for children?

2. Change of attitude
Teachers and parents should not look at Islamic education as a chore, job or burden. Islamic education is our chance to inspire a new generation to love, learn and live Islam. We cannot do this unless we are passionate about what we teach and the students feel this passion in our classes.
An average teacher imparts information, a true teacher inspires a generation!

3. Do not be afraid to do something different
Many times, teachers are discouraged from making any changes. They are put in a position in which, if they change something, it is seen as finding fault with their elders and their methods. Truth is that times change and our methods need to change in order to engage a new generation. Islam allows for such change and there is no one method of teaching which Islam restricts us to follow. As long as the means are permissible, it should be used as a tool in education.
Children and teenagers (even adults) enjoy lessons presented with nasheeds, videos, jokes and slideshows far more than straight up lectures. Teachers need to use their imagination and creativity and invent fun methods to impart their knowledge to others.

4. Goals need to be set
Islamic education should not be done just for the sake of it. There need to be goals in place, both short term and long term. Teachers and parents need to decide what they want children to accomplish by the age of nine, thirteen, seventeen, etc.
A lot of thought needs to be put into the priorities, objectives and purpose of Islamic education. When such goals are made, it becomes easier to see a bigger picture and thus formulate a syllabus that works towards such goals.
These are just some problems which I have observed as well as potential solutions. Feel free to add to this list or politely disagree.

http://muslimmatters.org/2010/11/01/revitalizing-islamic-education-for-children/

STUDY METHODS

When you hear the word ‘STUDY’ you probably feel: No need to anymore. With just a little planning and knowing how to study, those study times can easily become a productive & funfilled time that makes you feel:

So let’s see how this is done…

STUDY TIMETABLE

If you structure your study days you will find that you will be able to create a balance between your studies and leisure. You will also be able to have the necessary breaks in order for you start the next study session afresh.

Remember the ffg. when structuring your timetable:

ü Work your study timetable in conjunction with your exam timetable. Ensure that you have made adequate provision for the subject by the time the time comes to write that subject.

ü Also allocate more time to subjects you find more difficult.

ü Ensure that your break & leisure times don’t exceed your studying time.

ü Anticipate that sometimes you may not be able to keep up to your timetable due to unforeseen circumstances, however these times must be made up for.

ü Keep your timetable pasted on the wall in front of your desk as well as on the fridge so your parents can also monitor it.

EXAM & STUDY SKILLS

Reading

· The first time you study new material, you should read through it.

· Any new material must be read at least three times.

· On your first read, just read but make sure you are concentrating.

· On your second read, read for understanding by using a highlighter to highlight what you think are the main points.

· On your third read, go through these highlighted points and jot down more pertinent points that come from them.

· If you still don’t grasp something go back to your textbook and original notes and read again.

· Closer to your exam, make sure that you go through the highlighted sections and notes you have made. (so now you have less to learn because you have condensed your work).

Studying & Memorising

· For factual subjects such as Biology, History etc. the above reading method works very well.

· In subjects such as these, use your own acronyms, tables, drawings, cartoons and metaphors to help you remember confusing facts.

· You can also read your notes out loud and record it – listen to these records while you are dressing, eating, getting ready for school, etc. The more you hear them, the more they will register in your memory.

· For any subjects that have diagrams, don’t just memorise the diagram. Redraw it yourself and label it by looking at the textbook and then try redrawing it again without the aid of the textbook.

· For subjects such as Accounting, Physics and Maths, do as many examples as possible. Don’t do the examples after looking at the correct answer at the back of the textbook – try to work out the answer on your own first before checking the answer.

· For English and Afrikaans, ensure that you have read your setworks thoroughly and that you have understood them. Try explaining the story to someone to see how much of it you remember. A study guide is also very helpful for these subjects. Here again, use assignments or past question papers – the more examples you do, the more you will begin to see what is expected of you.

· When memorizing huge volumes, don’t strive to do it all at once. Break it down into smaller chunks and only go onto the next chunk until you fully remember the first chunk.

· Try not to do memorizing at night as you are tired. Rather leave that for early morning.

Exam Skills

§ Always ensure that you know the exact date and time you will be writing a paper.

§ Ensure that you are at least half an hour early at the exam venue so that you do not reach there in a panic.

§ Ensure that you have all the correct stationery for that paper.

§ Keep your wrist watch on your table so that you can keep track of the time without constantly having to look at your wrist.

§ Time your self – if your paper has 5 questions and it is a 60min paper then you have 12mins to answer each question. Also ensure that you still have a little left over time to go back to difficult questions and to check your paper.

§ Read through the entire question paper before you begin. By doing so you will know what is expected of you by reading all the instructions. You will also be able to decide which section you want to answer first.

§ Always answer first what you know and what you are confident in.

§ Read each question thoroughly, underlining key words in the question.

§ If a question is starting to feel difficult, don’t panic! Take a deep breath in and go to another question. Mark a star next to the question you left out so you can return to it. Do so after you have completed all the questions you know.

§ When answering a multiple choice question paper, use a process of elimination.

§ When you have completed your paper, never hand it in, even if you have time left – go over it again and again to make sure that you have not left anything out.

§ When you go home, forget about the paper you have written and concentrate on the one you are going to write the next day.

General

v Study in a place where there are no distractions. If you like listening to music when you are studying, ensure that the volume is low.

v Study in a room that is well ventilated and has good lighting.

v Eat healthy snacks while studying such as fruit, nuts, milk, etc.

v Don’t skip meals during study periods.

v If your mind wanders focus on the fact that the quicker you finish the quicker you will reach your break – if you have wasted time daydreaming, cut-down your break time and use it to study.

v Talk to your friends about what you have learnt –that way you will learn from each other.

v Give yourself a treat after you’ve had a good and profitable study session.

GOOD LUCK!!

Nasreen Ebrahim-Sardiwalla

Clinical Psychologist

B.A.(Unisa), B.A.Hons (Unisa), M.A.Clin Psych(UFS)

Jazakallahu khairan to sister Nasreen for the above article.

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