Moulana Moosa Olgar: Pregnancy

Pregnancy
by Moulana Moosa ibn Ahmad Olgar, extract: Upbringing of Children

After some time has elapsed, the couple desire that Allah Taa’la bless them with a child and thus through marital consummation Allah Taa’la grants their wish. The first stage that follows is that of pregnancy. A person should not be ashamed of being pregnant or treat it as a big burden, as there are many beautiful virtues and rewards for being pregnant.
Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “The woman that dies in her virginity or during her pregnancy or at the time of birth or thereafter (in nifaas) will attain the rank of a martyr.”
It is mentioned in another Hadith that Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Does it not please you (O Women!) that when you conceive from your husbands while he is pleased with you then that woman will receive such reward equal to that of a fasting person in the path of Allah and spending the night in ibaadat. When her labour pains commence the inhabitants of the earth and the sky are unaware of the stores of comfort that are prepared for her. When she delivers and breast feeds her child then she will be granted a reward for every gulp of milk, and if she had to remain awake during the night for the sake of her child, she will receive the reward of emancipating seventy slaves in the path of Allah. O Salaamat! Do you know who these women are? They are pious, upright, delicately natured but yet are obedient to their husbands and not ungrateful to them.”
Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “A woman from her pregnancy till the time of weaning her child is like one protecting the boundaries of the Islamic state. If she passes away during this period she attains the reward of martyrdom.”
In another Hadith it is mentioned that, “The woman who dies of labour pains is regarded as a martyr (shaheedah).”
A woman should therefore gladly bear these difficulties patiently and calmly as she will be highly rewarded.
Hazrat Mail bin Yasaar (radiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Marry such women who are loving and produce children (in abundance) because (on the day of Qiyaamah) I will vie with other Ummats and be proud of your numbers.”
In another Hadith Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Even the miscarried foetus will drag its mother towards Jannat if she exercised patience with the hope of acquiring reward.”
Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “When the woman breast feeds then on every gulp of milk the child receives, the reward is as though she has granted life to a being and when she weans her child, then the angels pat her on her back saying: CONGRATULATIONS! all your past sins have been forgiven, now start all over again.”
[By sins is intended the minor sins, this is also a great reward.]

DAYS OF PREGNANCY
During this time, great care and precautions should be adopted. During this stage, any physical weaknesses affect the growth of the child. In the early days of pregnancy, constipation should be avoided as there is a fear of miscarriage. Constipation is a fairly common complaint during pregnancy. Stimulant laxatives should be avoided in pregnancy and while breast-feeding. Similarly diarrhoea should be avoided as this can make her weak and at times can result in a miscarriage.
During this period nausea, vomiting and discomposure is experienced. This induces a desire for sour and salty foods. Some women have a sudden craving for black soil and soap etc. Caution should be taken that no such items are consumed which are detrimental to the health. Also extremely bitter and spicy foods should be avoided. During pregnancy simple foods should be eaten that assist in digestion.
If during the days of pregnancy any sickness befalls you, then immediate treatment should be given and the doctor should be told of your pregnancy. One should not feel ashamed of being pregnant. Those women who have their first pregnancy are ashamed to tell their in-laws and relatives and as a result they suffer.
The pregnant woman should remember that giving birth to a normal child does not lead to so much of weakness as in the case of a miscarriage. Therefore if one has a miscarriage, full precautions should be taken or else this weakness will affect her for the rest of her life.
During the early days of pregnancy, very heavy things should not be carried or lifted. Likewise jumping from a high place, hopping, running or any form of physical (pain) strain should be prevented as this may cause excessive bleeding or even a miscarriage.
The Islamic education of the child starts when the child is still in the womb of the mother. This is through the thoughts that she carries in those days, by the feelings that she has, by the kind of books that she reads, by the kind of company that she keeps and by the kind of things that she hears.
During pregnancy frightening pictures of deformed children or animals should not be seen. One should look at beautiful children, flowers and should smell beautiful fragrances.
Also during pregnancy reading evil books, having evil thoughts, bad intentions, practising of bad habits and doing sinful works should be avoided or else there is a fear that these evils may effect the unborn child later on. All these have an effect on the unborn child because the mother’s nervous system is affecting all the systems of the baby. Although the baby has its own independent systems, remember it is the mother’s womb that is carrying the baby and that the baby is being affected by whatever she is thinking, feeling, reading and listening to. It is better and advisable for the mother to keep good company, to read good books (the Quraan Shareef should be read in abundance) and to be at such places where she hears the words of Allah and about our DEEN. It is important to have good feelings, good thoughts and not to carry grudges, have fear of something or be unduly worried about something. One should always remain calm and happy and should not be allowed to be over concerned and allow oneself to be overtaken by grief. The thoughts that you generate within yourself will influence the kind of disposition the child will have. If you are sad and miserable the child will be equally affected. So remember the environment prior to the child’s birth is as important as the environment he is born into.

WHAT TO READ DURING PREGNANCY
During the days of pregnancy, duas for the protection from calamities should be read in abundance. Also the performance of Salaat regularly is a protection from calamities. The following duas and surahs should be read in abundance during pregnancy:
A’oodhu bikalimmatillaahit taammmaati min sharri maa khalaqa
I seek refuge in the perfect words of Allah from the evil of that which He has created.
Hasbunallaahu wa ni’imal wakeel
Allah suffices us and He is the best guardian
Inniy u’eedhuhaa bika wa dhurriyyatahaa minas shaytaanir rajeem
And I command her and her offspring to Thy protection, from the evil one, the rejected.
Aayatul Kursi, surah Yaseen, surah Maryam, surah Yusuf and surah Muhammad
Also it is mentioned that Hazrat Fatima (radiyallahu anha) reports that when it was time for her to deliver her child, “Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) sent Umme Salma (radiyallahu anha) and Hazrat Zainab (radiyallahu anha) to me with the instruction that they read Aayatul Kursi, surah Al-Falaq and An-naas and the following verse for easy delivery:
Inna rabbakumullaahul ladhiy khalaqas samaawaati wal ardha fiy sittati ayyaamin thumma-stawaa alal arsh, yughshiyl llaylan nahaara wa yatlubuhoo hatheethan was shamsa wal qamara wan nujooma musakh-kharaatim bi amrihi. Alaa lahul khalqu wal amru, tabaaraka llaahu rabbul aalameen. Ud’oo rabbakum tadharru’an wa khufyatan, innahoo laa yuhibbul mu’tadeen.” Surah Al-A’raf (7:54,55)
If a woman has difficulty during childbirth, the following should be written on paper, wrapped in a piece of white cloth and tied around her left thigh. Insha-Allah it will ease the birth.
Also Aayatul Kursi and the two Ayats from surah Al-A’raf (7: 54,55) are to be recited near the woman in throes of birth. Surah Al-Falaq and An-Naas are also to be read and thereafter blown on her.

CERTAIN BEAUTIFUL NAMES OF ALLAH TO BE READ BEFORE AND DURING PREGNANCY
Yaa waahidul ahad, The ONE Un-Equalled
Anyone desiring good and pious children should inscribe this ism on paper, or cloth and keep it with him at all times.
Yaa awwalu, The First.
Anyone desirous of male children should say this ism 40 times daily for 40 days. His needs will soon be fulfilled. (Insha-Allah)
Yaa mubdi-u, The Originator
Anyone who, while placing his hand on the stomach of his pregnant wife, repeats this ism 99 times at the time of sehri, neither will she have a miscarriage nor will she give birth prematurely. (Insha-Allah)
Yaa barru, The Good.
Anyone who reads this ism 7 times and blows on his child soon after birth, Allah will grant the child protection from calamities until puberty. (Insha-Allah)
Yaa baari-u, One Who Gives Life.
If a barren woman fasts for 7days and each day, after making Iftaar with water, reads this ism 21 times Allah will grant her male children. (Insha-Allah)
Yaa musawwiru, Fashioner of Shapes.
If a barren woman fasts and each day, after making Iftaar with water read this ism 21 times Allah will grant her male children. (Insha-Allah
Yaa naafi-u, One Who Confers Benefits.
If this ism is said prior to having intercourse, Allah will grant him good and pious children. (Insha-Allah)

FASTING DURING PREGNANCY
If the pregnant woman is certain or almost certain that if she fasts the foetus will be harmed or she herself will be harmed, she is then permitted not to observe the fasts.
If a woman comes to know after having had the intention of the fast that she is pregnant and she is almost certain that fasting would be harmful for her, she is then permitted to break the fast and observe it on another day without expiation.

WHAT TO EAT DURING PREGNANCY
During the days of pregnancy good and pure foods are essential for the health of the child. But excess of healthy foods and fruits and too much of resting causes the weight of the child to increase due to which delivery becomes difficult. Therefore excess of healthy foods should not be consumed, nor should there be too much of resting. A little bit of work should be done.
Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “If a woman eats sweet melon, she will give birth to a handsome and pretty child.”
It is interesting to note that an intelligent child is born when a pregnant woman eats beans. Also it increases the mother’s milk.
During the days of pregnancy by eating coconut and sugar candy, it lessens the amount of vomiting. There is easiness at the time of the birth of the child. Also on the body of the child there would be no heat rashes and the child will be fair and pure (skin) and the child will be born healthy. (Insha-Allah)
Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) has emphasised the importance of dates and their effectiveness in the growth of the foetus. He (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) recommended that they be given to women. Sayyidah Maryam (alayhas salaam) had dates as her food during her confinement and labour. Experiments have shown that dates contain stimulants which strengthen the muscles of the uterus in the last months of pregnancy. This helps the dilation of the uterus at the time of delivery on one hand and reduces the bleeding after delivery on the other. Dates enrich the breast milk with all the elements needed to make the child healthy and resistant to disease. Modern Science has proved that dates are a part of a healthy diet. They contain sugar, fat and proteins as well as important vitamins. They are also rich in natural fibres. Medical research has proven that they are effective in preventing stomach cancer. Dates also surpass other fruit in sheer variety of their constituents. They contain oil, Calcium, Sulphur, Iron, Potassium, Phosphorous, Manganese, Copper and Megnesium. In other words, one date is a mini-mine of a balanced and healthy diet.
Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) is reported to have said that bitter orange (grapefruit) is a cure for all illnesses. Also, it increases the milk in the mother’s breast.

http://www.beautifulislam.net/family/pregnancy.htm

Parent24: Home or hospital?

Birthing Centre in the USA - Source: Porter Medical Centre

More and more women are opting for home births assisted by midwives. What are the advantages of having a home birth?

Home birth

• The woman may feel more in control as she is in her own environment
• She has more privacy
• She will be assisted by the midwife of her choice
• It is cost-effective
• It can be a more relaxed and peaceful atmosphere
• There is no unnecessary intervention
• A woman may use natural ways of relieving pain
• She can have as many people present as she wishes to
• She is never separated from the baby
• There is less distraction
• An episiotomy can be avoided
• Birth is seen as a natural process rather than a “medical” event
• Older children don’t have to deal with the absence of their parents

Make sure that you are assisted by an experienced, qualified nurse/midwife or by a qualified physician. In case of a medical emergency, you should be within 20 minutes of the nearest hospital.

According to Dr Martin Puzey, Gynaecologist, a woman should be cleared as being a low risk case for home birth by her gynaecologist. “People tend to forget that giving birth is a very dangerous process and is a time in a woman’s life when things can go seriously wrong,” he says. “Many years ago, the first thing a father asked of the delivering doctor after the birth was ‘how’s my wife … did she survive the birth?’. If a woman has a high risk pregnancy, she should examine her alternatives.”

Hospital birth

You may want to consider the following advantages of a hospital birth:

• The baby can be delivered by an obstetrician
• There are different pain relief options available
• Hospitals are well equipped in case of emergency
• Breastfeeding clinics or lactation consultants are available in most hospitals

Would you opt for a hospital or a home birth? What influences your choice the most?

Source: http://www.parent24.com/Content/Baby/birth/132/b32d800a66d442759043d8f80165f1aa/16-02-2009-11-29/Home_or_hospital

The Virtues of Pregnancy

• When a woman is pregnant with a child, all the angels will make Istighfar (repentance) on her behalf. Allah SWT will, for each day of her pregnancy, write for her 1000 good deeds and erase from her 1000 bad deeds.

• When a pregnant woman starts to feel the pain from contractions, Allah SWT will write in her records as someone who is doing jihad (spiritual or physical struggle) in His path.

• When a woman becomes pregnant by her husband and he is pleased with her, she obtains the reward of a person engaging in fasting for Allah SWT and a person spending the night in ibaadah (worship).

• A woman from the time of pregnancy until childbirth and weaning the baby, is like the Mujahid (someone fighting in the path of Allah, swa) who is stationed on the frontiers of the Islamic land. If she dies during this period, she dies the death of a shahid (martyr).

• Two raka’at salaat performed by a pregnant woman is better than 80 raka’at salaat performed by a non-pregnant woman.

• A woman who is pregnant gets the reward of fasting during the day and of doing ibaadah (worship) during the nights.

• A woman who gives birth gets the reward of 70 years of salaat (prayer) and fasting. For each vein that feels pain, Allah SWT gives her the reward of one accepted hajj (Pilgrimage to Makkah).

• If the woman dies within 40 days of giving birth, she will die as a shahid (matyr).

(Hadith)…….”A woman that dies in her virginity or during her pregnancy or at the time of birth or thereafter (in nifaas) will attain the rank of a martyr”

Nabi(salalaallahu alayhi wassallam) is reported to have also said “…….When her labour pains commence, the inhabitants of the earth and the sky are unaware of the stores of comfort that are prepared for her. When she delivers and breast feeds her child, then she will be granted a reword for every gulp of milk, if she had to remain awake during the night for the sake of the child, she will receive the reword of emancipating seventy slaves in the path of Allah Ta’ala. O Salaamat! Do you know who these women are? They are pious, upright, with a delicate nature yet obedient to their husbands and not ungrateful to them”

Source: Madrasa In’aamiyyah via Toronto Shariah Program [shariahprogram.ca]

She’s pregnant

On the topic of pregnancy, here is something from the lighter side and although Egyptian in context SA Muslims can still see the humor: (cut and paste from islamonline.net):

What Honey, You’re Pregnant!

(Part 1)

By  Yasser Aboudouma

Writer, Civil Engineer – Egypt

There are common arguments, especially in Egypt, that are repeated daily between each husband and his lovely and adorable wife, who by the way is pregnant for the first time!

Usually, the story begins when the wife suspects that she is pregnant. She runs to the nearest lab for a pregnancy test, and once she is confirmed pregnant, all her life is changed and her husband’s life is pushed to the edge, or more pointedly, to the verge of collapse.

“I have to see a good doctor,” the wife says.

“But, your doctor is good and she has a good reputation,” replies the husband.

With the start of a period of pregnancy, there are a lot of requests, orders, and special considerations, and the poor husband has to listen and obey, because her majesty is going through her first pregnancy!

* * *

First Month

Wife: I want to see a male doctor like all my girlfriends. My doctor is old and boring.

Husband: Honey, you are veiled, and there is no necessity to visit a male doctor; and whether your doctor is old or young, what matters is her experience and qualifications. If you don’t feel comfortable with your doctor, we can look for another female doctor.

Wife: NO! I know that females are not that experienced in medicine.

Husband: (mumbling) In everything, not only medicine!

The arguments continue till the husband succeeds in convincing his wife that another female doctor would be good, especially that she is a little younger than the previous doctor. But, the wife is still unhappy as the new doctor does not have the latest high technology of ultrasonography.

Wife: See! This doctor also failed to show me the baby.

Husband: Honey, you are still in your first month, there is no baby to see.

Wife: My friend’s doctor showed her the baby in her first month, and the baby was moving, plus she could hear his heartbeat.

Husband: Oh yeah! And the baby was walking too, right! In the first month, the baby looks like a dot.

As usual, that argument ends with going to one of the private hospitals where there are the latest medical equipment. At the hospital, the doctor explains to the wife that there is no way any instrument can show a baby, its movement, or its heartbeat, as the baby is not big enough. Finally, they quietly return back home and the wife realizes that she has to wait.

* * *

Second Month

The second month of pregnancy means nausea and cravings for certain foods. Hormones start to increase rapidly, which affects the pregnant woman’s behavior with her husband and her colleagues at work. Be careful if you have pregnant women at your company and/or office.

Wife: Honey, I have a craving for watermelon with no seeds.

Husband: I have never heard of that! Watermelon with no seeds!

Wife: That’s not my concern. I crave for it and I want it. Do you want our baby to be born with a birthmark?

Wife: I think my tummy is a little bigger than normal. I believe I have twins!

Husband: No, your tummy is still the same, and the doctor told us that you have a single baby, not twins.

Wife: So! Maybe the doctor could not see him.

Day after day, this kind of dialogue goes on and on, especially when the wife goes to work. Expect your pregnant wife to return from work in a bad mood, nervous, and quite, quite mad because …

Wife: (nervously) I have to quit work. I will give them my resignation tomorrow.

.

I can’t handle work and all the people there. It’s OVER!

Husband: What happened?

Wife: Imagine. At the weekly meeting, my manager suggested something that should be done. I told him that I don’t think it’s beneficial to work. He kept arguing with me, and he wasn’t convinced by what I said.

Husband: That’s normal. He is your boss, and he has a right to argue with you about work.

Wife: Men, men, men! You are one of them, and all men are the same – sure you’ll defend him. No, he has no right to do so and no right to argue with me; he meant to irritate me. All of the men in the meeting, and the world, have to take a one-way trip to Iraq, and I’m ready to pay for the tickets!

Wife: Also, that girl in the meeting, instead of supporting me and taking my side, she supported him and made more suggestions that I have to implement.

Husband: Honey, it’s normal; that girl is your close friend and she has always been kind to you.

Wife: NO! It’s not normal. They have to know that I’m pregnant and my increasing hormones affect my mood, so they shouldn’t argue with me at all!

Husband: Sweetheart, let’s forget all about work – what do we have for dinner today?

Wife: (In a very shy, soft, and passive voice) Honey, do you want something to eat today? I was nervous today and needed to rest because I was worried about the baby. But there’s a tin of tuna in the kitchen.

Husband: What! You will not join me for dinner?

Wife: No. When I had finished the meeting, I returned to my office and ordered some food to help me relax.

Days will pass, and life will crawl along slowly until “this woman” reaches her third month of pregnancy.

* * *

Third Month

In this month, the pregnant wife is assured that she has a single baby. Hormones increase rapidly, which affect the routine of her life and make her feel lazy and sleepy most of the time. She will be curious to see the baby each and every day, and she will want to trace its growth accordingly.

Wife: Yesterday, the doctor didn’t show me the baby well. The baby’s hand didn’t show up clearly.

Husband: Don’t worry. The doctor and I saw the baby, and it looked really great.

Wife: I’m not asking for what you and the doctor did or didn’t see! I have to re-visit the doctor next week, and I’ll ask her to show me the baby.

Husband: She arranged the next appointment for next month, not next week.

Wife: No problem. She won’t remember, and my friend told me that her doctor had ultrasound and showed her the baby on a weekly basis.

Husband: Honey, your friend is in her sixth month, while you are in your third.

Wife: Arrrrrgh! Stop arguing with me. You are just like my colleagues at work; useless!

Or the dialogue may go back to the size of the wife’s “tummy”!

Wife: Honey, I think my tummy is starting to get bigger.

Husband: No dear, I think it is still the normal size.

Wife: You see, my pregnant friends told me so. They also told me that in the third month my tummy starts to get bigger. Plus, I’ll feel the baby’s movement and I’ll hear his heartbeats too.

Arguments, arguments, arguments; your life will be all about arguments with your sweet, pregnant wife! You have to be patient and quiet, and you must support her, even if she surprises you by trying to manipulate everything for her own benefit.

Wife: Honey, I want to eat something.

Husband: What’s that, sweetheart? We can have it delivered here.

Wife: I wish to eat at that restaurant we went to on the day we got married.

Husband: Yeah, but it’s far away from here and previously you complained that you get tired from being in the car, especially for long distances.

Wife: No, no. If we go to that restaurant, I won’t feel tired.

Husband: OK honey, we’ll go this weekend.

Wife: No, I want to go today, NOW – otherwise, the baby will be born with a birthmark! as I crave eating in that restaurant.

Husband: Sweetheart, I understand that pregnant women crave for certain kinds of food, not certain kinds of restaurant!

Wife: Have you ever been pregnant? How would you know about cravings? This is my desire.

Of course, these arguments end in one direction only, the pregnant wife’s direction; and the husband has to admit that he will lose his case to his wife, who represents the half of society, whom we call weak!

________________________________________

Yasser Aboudouma is an Egyptian-Canadian who lives between Cairo and Ontario. He holds a B.Sc. in engineering and a diploma in project management. He is interested in issues of social and cultural differences and can be reached at yasser_aboudouma@yahoo.ca.