Are your kids stressed? [from ErinParenting]

It’s common to hear adults talking about how stressed or overwhelmed they are, but do we hear from our children how they feel? Research finds that between 8 and 10% of North American children are seriously troubled by stress.

I’ll never forget a class meeting I shared with my students some 6 years ago. The students were discussing their feelings and all but 1 boy said, “I’m so stressed!” They were 8 and 9 years old. Probing them further, I asked, “Why?” Here is the short list of reasons they mentioned:
1. Too much homework (I must note that they mentioned subjects areas outside of what I taught since I was always conscious about how much I have and NEVER gave any over the weekends.
2. Sibling Arguments
3. Too many extra-curricular activities ie. feeling overscheduled
4. Parent expectations
5. Home problems
6. Stressed out parents always yelling
It broke my heart to see these young souls sharing their stories of stress.
The only boy that day who wasn’t stressed called out emotionally, “I’m allowed to be a kid!” The room went silent. I asked him what he meant. He replied, still very emotional, “I get home from school, take a shower, put on my pajamas, do my homework, eat dinner, play or read then go to bed. I’m allowed to be a kid, Mrs. Kurt.” He was so right.

Today, our children sleep fewer hours, play fewer hours and spend time by themselves fewer hours than ever before. The result is that they are stressed, even children as young as 3 research shows! One researcher, Dr. Kim Payne, was shocked to return to the United States after having lived and worked in war torn countries helping children cope with post-traumatic stress. What he found was that North American children were exhibiting the same physical and emotional signs of stress as the children in the war torn countries.How can you tell if your child is stressed?
Here are some signs to look for:
Physical:
• reoccurring headaches, neckaches or backaches
• nausea, diarrhea, constipation, stomachache
• shaky hands, sweaty palms
• bed wetting
• trouble sleeping/nightmares
• change in appetite
• frequent colds, fatigue

Emotional or Behavioural:
• new or reoccurring fears; anxiety and worries
• trouble concentrating; frequent daydreaming
• restlessness, irritability
• social withdrawal, unwillingness to participate in school or family activities
• moodiness
• nail biting, thumb sucking, hair twirling, foot tapping
• acting out, anger, tantrums
• regression to baby-like behaviours
• excessive whining or crying
• clinginess, won’t let you out of site

The best thing you can do is to discover the reason behind your child’s stress and then put a few things in place to improve the current dynamics.

:Erin A. Kurt, Stress-Free Parenting Expert, is founder of ErinParenting.com and the author of Juggling Family Life: A Step-By-Step Guide to Stress-Free Parenting, the proven step-by-step program that shows you exactly how to raise happy, respectful and well-adjusted kids in just 3 steps…guaranteed. To get your F.R.E.E. video series and receive her stress-free parenting articles on how to parent without yelling and get your kids to listen to you the first time, visit www.erinparenting.com.

SEPARATION ANXIETY

Another ‘cut and paste’ from www.babeeze.co.za:

Separation or “stranger” anxiety does not always occur to all babies, however it is quite common around the 7-8 month mark that your little one may on the odd occasion experience some sort of anxiety when a friend, granny or baby-sitter offers to pick them up or try and feed them.

Do not be alarmed if a month ago they did not seem to mind at all who looked after them and now they seem to only want mommy or daddy, as this provides some sort of satisfaction, comfort or pleasure.

Even seeing a stranger for the first time may trigger an outburst of crying or wanting to cling to you. Leaving them at the nursery or with a baby-sitter may trigger the same reaction.

Keep in mind that this is only one of the many stages that they are experiencing. Their fear is simply that you are leaving them and that you are not going to come back. Fortunately this stage will be over soon. Try and get the granny or baby-sitter to distract them and take their mind off of what they are experiencing while you slip out of the room, un-noticed.

It is not an easy one – as you will always feel guilty for leaving them. But know that within a few minutes they will have forgotten all about it and you can then look forward to seeing their little face light up again as you enter the room on your return.

OUR TAKE….

Overall, an interesting approach but I suspect Separation Anxiety can go well beyond the 8-month mark….probably till the Grade R stage!