The 2 Biggest Discipline Mistakes

Author: Erin Kurt

Source: Erinparenting.com

The two biggest mistakes that parents, teachers or caregivers make in dealing with children are the following:

1) Too much talking
2) Too much emotion

Sometimes parents talk and explain in a sweet voice hoping that after a beautifully crafted lecture their child will fully understand and will never misbehave in that way again. Other times parents get angry and start yelling or lecturing with huge emotion. Both of these situations do not create the desired outcome.

Let’s look at the first example. When a parent talks and explains why doing something isn’t right they are assuming that their child has the reasoning skills of an adult. Children are born quite unreasonable actually and only learn the basics of cause and effect gradually. Our job as parents is to teach them that their choices have consequences and that they must choose their actions wisely. This understanding will only come through practice – practice of experiencing a consequence after misbehaving, not by listening to an irritating and distracting lecture or soliloquy – no matter how kind and loving we sound.

Remember this: If you talk too much, you will take your child’s focus off the need for good behavior and turn it onto the possibility of an enjoyable argument or game.

Let’s turn now to the second example of using too much emotion. The desired effect is not going to be reached again because by seeing you upset, your child almost gets a rush. Let me explain.

The moment our children turn 2 years of age they begin to want to be like five-year-olds, who can do a lot more. The five-year-olds in turn want to be like ten-year-olds. The point here is that our children want to feel like they have some control over their lives and when they see that they can make you upset, they feel more in control, more powerful. This is by no means your child trying to be malicious; it’s simply a part of their natural development.

I love a quote I heard once from Dr. Thomas Phelan. He said, “If you have a child who is doing something you don’t like, get real upset about it on a regular basis and sure enough she’ll repeat it for you!” This is SO true.

The lesson for parents is this; stick to using a matter-of-fact voice and just state clearly and concisely what it is your child needs to do in that moment – no lecturing, no emotion.

http://www.erinparenting.com/?page_id=13

Tips for Reading Aloud

Source: The Book Chook

Parents who want the best for their kids, read aloud to them every day. Here are some Book Chook tips to get the most from your story sharing time:
• Make sure your child is comfortable, not hungry or thirsty or too tired. A great place for sharing a story is snuggled together in a big armchair. That feeling of love and closeness makes the read-aloud experience even more special.
• If I’m reading a print book aloud, I like to hold the book where my child can see the text while he listens, imagines, and gazes at the pictures. I believe this is an important step in pre-reading, helping kids make connections with what they hear and the print they see.
• Sometimes children find it difficult to sit still for a story. Encourage them to play quietly while you read, or to move around while you both listen to an audio book.
• Whenever you’re reading aloud each day – at bed time, or during lunch, or maybe while you’re in a waiting room – remember to make the experience fun. Encourage kids to join in whenever there’s an opportunity: maybe they can make an animal noise, or be a giant stomping about.
• If the book is new to you, try to scan it before a read-aloud session. It helps the flow if you know what’s coming next. You won’t stumble, trying to work out an unusual font or the meter of a rhyme.
• I like to use different voices for different characters, and vary my tone. If I’m creeping up to a dark, scary cave, I lower my voice, read slowly and draw out the suspense. If I’m doing dialogue between a mouse and a lion, I vary my voice accordingly. Sometimes I get my voices and characters muddled, but it doesn’t matter. Kids usually point it out, we giggle and move on.
• It’s important to be comfortable and develop your own style of reading aloud. Start reading to babies, they are very accepting, and absorb a lot about language by listening to the rhythm of your words. Check out story times at libraries or schools to get an idea of what works for others.

There are thousands, probably millions of wonderful books for children. Borrow from your local library or buy from markets and stores, but make sure there are many, many books in your home for your child to choose from. Sharing great books daily will give all kids a head start into happiness and success in life, and help their dreams come true.

If you’re interested in more ideas for family read alouds, you might like Ten Ways to Involve the Whole Family in Reading Aloud, Fourteen Fantastic Hints on Reading Aloud by Mem Fox Queen of Read Aloud, When Should We Start Reading to Kids?, Encouraging Young Readers, or Rhyme Helps Reading.}

Myths of Breastfeeding

By Dr. Jack Newman, MD, FRCPC*

1. Many women do not produce enough milk. Not true! The vast majority of women produce more than enough milk. Indeed, an overabundance of milk is common. Most babies that gain too slowly, or lose weight, do so not because the mother does not have enough milk, but because the baby does not get the milk that the mother has. The usual reason that the baby does not get the milk that is available is that he is poorly latched onto the breast. This is why it is so important that the mother be shown, on the first day, how to latch a baby on properly, by someone who knows what they are doing.

2. It is normal for breastfeeding to hurt. Not true! Though some tenderness during the first few days is relatively common, this should be a temporary situation that lasts only a few days and should never be so bad that the mother dreads breastfeeding. Any pain that is more than mild is abnormal and is almost always due to the baby latching on poorly. Any nipple pain that is not getting better by day three or four or lasts beyond five or six days should not be ignored. A new onset of pain when things have been going well for a while may be due to a yeast infection of the nipples. Limiting feeding time does not prevent soreness. Taking the baby off the breast for the nipples to heal should be a last resort only.

3. There is no (not enough) milk during the first three or four days after birth. Not true! It often seems like that because the baby is not latched on properly and therefore is unable to get the milk that is available. When there is not a lot of milk (as there is not, normally, in the first few days), the baby must be well latched on in order to get the milk. This accounts for “but he’s been on the breast for 2 hours and is still hungry when I take him off”. By not latching on well, the baby is unable to get the mother’s first milk, called colostrum. Anyone who suggests you pump your milk to know how much colostrum there is, does not understand breastfeeding, and should be politely ignored. Once the mother’s milk is abundant, a baby can latch on poorly and still may get plenty of milk, though good latching from the beginning, even in if the milk is abundant, prevents problems later on.

4. A baby should be on the breast 20 (10, 15, 7.6) minutes on each side. Not true! However, a distinction needs to be made between “being on the breast” and “breastfeeding”. If a baby is actually drinking for most of 15-20 minutes on the first side, he may not want to take the second side at all. If he drinks only a minute on the first side, and then nibbles or sleeps, and does the same on the other, no amount of time will be enough. The baby will breastfeed better and longer if he is latched on properly. He can also be helped to breastfeed better and longer if the mother compresses the breast to keep the flow of milk going, once he no longer drinks on his own (Handout Breast Compression). Thus it is obvious that the rule of thumb that “the baby gets 90% of the milk in the breast in the first 10 minutes” is equally hopelessly wrong. To see how to know a baby is getting milk see the videos at www.drjacknewman.com.

5. A breastfeeding baby needs extra water in hot weather. Not true! Breastmilk contains all the water a baby needs.

6. Breastfeeding babies need extra vitamin D. Not true! Everyoneneeds vitamin D. Formula has it added at the factory. But the baby is born with a liver full of vitamin D, and breastmilk does have some vitamin D. Outside exposure allows the baby to get the rest of his vitamin D requirements from ultraviolet light even in winter. The baby does not need a lot of outside exposure and does not need outside exposure every day. Vitamin D is a fat soluble vitamin and is stored in the body. In some circumstances (for example, if the mother herself was vitamin D deficient during the pregnancy) it may be prudent to supplement the baby with vitamin D. Exposing the baby to sunlight through a closed window does not work to get the baby more vitamin D.

7. A mother should wash her nipples each time before feeding the baby. Not true! Formula feeding requires careful attention to cleanliness because formula not only does not protect the baby against infection, but also is actually a good breeding ground for bacteria and can also be easily contaminated. On the other hand, breastmilk protects the baby against infection. Washing nipples before each feeding makes breastfeeding unnecessarily complicated and washes away protective oils from the nipple.

8. Pumping is a good way of knowing how much milk the mother has. Not true! How much milk can be pumped depends on many factors, including the mother’s stress level. The baby who breastfeeds well can get much more milk than his mother can pump. Pumping only tells you have much you can pump.

9. Breastmilk does not contain enough iron for the baby’s needs.Not true! Breastmilk contains just enough iron for the baby’s needs. If the baby is full term he will get enough iron from breastmilk to last him at least the first six months. Formulas contain too much iron, but this quantity may be necessary to ensure the baby absorbs enough to prevent iron deficiency. The iron in formula is poorly absorbed, and the baby poops out most of it. Generally, there is no need to add other foods to breastmilk before about 6 months of age.

10. It is easier to bottle feed than to breastfeed. Not true! Or, thisshould not be true. However, breastfeeding is made difficult because women often do not receive the help they should to get started properly. A poor start can indeed make breastfeeding difficult. But a poor start can also be overcome. Breastfeeding is often more difficult at first, due to a poor start, but usually becomes easier later.

11. Breastfeeding ties the mother down. Not true! But it depends how you look at it. A baby can be breastfed anywhere, anytime, and thus breastfeeding is liberating for the mother. No need to drag around bottles or formula. No need to worry about where to warm up the milk. No need to worry about sterility. No need to worry about how your baby is, because he is with you.

12. There is no way to know how much breastmilk the baby is getting. Not true! There is no easy way to measure how much the baby is getting, but this does not mean that you cannot know if the baby is getting enough. The best way to know is that the baby actually drinks at the breast for several minutes at each feeding (open mouth wide—pause—close mouth type of suck). Other ways also help show that the baby is getting plenty (Handout Is my Baby Getting Enough Milk?). See the videos atwww.drjacknewman.com.

13. Modern formulas are almost the same as breastmilk. Not true! The same claim was made in 1900 and before. Modern formulas are only superficially similar to breastmilk. Every correction of a deficiency in formulas is advertised as an advance. Fundamentally, formulas are inexact copies based on outdated and incomplete knowledge of what breastmilk is. Formulas contain no antibodies, no living cells, no enzymes, no hormones. They contain much more aluminum, manganese, cadmium, lead and iron than breastmilk. They contain significantly more protein than breastmilk. The proteins and fats are fundamentally different from those in breastmilk. Formulas do not vary from the beginning of the feed to the end of the feed, or from day 1 to day 7 to day 30, or from woman to woman, or from baby to baby. Your breastmilk is made as required to suit yourbaby. Formulas are made to suit every baby, and thus no baby. Formulas succeed only at making babies grow well, usually, but there is more to breastfeeding than nutrients.

14. If the mother has an infection she should stop breastfeeding. Not true! With very, very few exceptions, the mother’s continuing to breastfeed will actually protect the baby. By the time the mother has fever (or cough, vomiting, diarrhea, rash, etc) she has already given the baby the infection, since she has been infectious for several days before she even knew she was sick. The baby’s best protection against getting the infection is for the mother to continue breastfeeding. If the baby does get sick, he will be less sick if the mother continues breastfeeding. Besides, maybe it was the baby who gave the infection to the mother, but the baby did not show signs of illness because he was breastfeeding. Also, breast infections, including breast abscess, though painful, are not reasons to stop breastfeeding. Indeed, the infection is likely to settle more quickly if the mother continues breastfeeding on the affected side. (Handouts Breastfeeding and Medication and Breastfeeding and Illness).

15. If the baby has diarrhea or vomiting, the mother should stop breastfeeding. Not true! The best medicine for a baby’s gut infection is breastfeeding. Stop other foods for a short time, but continue breastfeeding. Breastmilk is the only fluid your baby requires when he has diarrhea and/or vomiting, except under exceptional circumstances. The push to use “oral rehydrating solutions” is mainly a push by the formula manufacturers (who also make oral rehydrating solutions) to make even more money. The baby is comforted by the breastfeeding, and the mother is comforted by the baby’s breastfeeding. (Handouts Breastfeeding and Medication and Breastfeeding and Illness).

16. If the mother is taking medicine she should not breastfeed. Not true! There are very very few medicines that a mother cannot take safely while breastfeeding. A very small amount of most medicines appears in the milk, but usually in such small quantities that there is no concern. If a medicine is truly of concern, there are usually equally effective, alternative medicines that are safe. The risks of artificial feeding for both the mother and the baby must be taken into account when weighing if breastfeeding should be continued (Handouts Breastfeeding and Medication andBreastfeeding and Illness).

For More Breastfeeding Myths, and Still More Myths, and Even More and More Myths!! visit www.drjacknewman.com

Dr. Jack Newman, MD, FRCPC

Dr. Jack Newman graduated from the University of Toronto medical school in 1970, interning at the Vancouver General Hospital. He did his training in pædiatrics in Quebec City and then at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto from 1977-1981 to become a Fellow of the Royal College of Physicians of Canada in 1981 as well as Board Certified by the AAP in 1981. He has worked as a physician in Central America, New Zealand and South Africa. He founded the first hospital based breastfeeding clinic in Canada in 1984. He has been a consultant for UNICEF for the Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative, evaluating the first candidate hospitals in Gabon, the Ivory Coast and Canada.

Source: CanadianParenting.com

How to make your own playdough

GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY

Toddlers love new experiences, and for most, there’s nothing more fun than getting nice and grubby playing with water, mud or anything else they can get their hands into! Make the most of this carefree, inquisitive phase by encouraging messy play that teaches your child about different the different properties, textures and smells of safe, everyday substances. Why not take a few minutes to make your own playdough. Follow this simple recipe, and let your toddler help spooning out the flour and pouring in the water:

• 150g (6oz) plain white flour
• 300ml (12 pint) warm water with a few drops of food dye
• 75g (3oz) salt
• 1 tbsp of vegetable oil
• 2 tsp cream of tartar

Put all the ingredients into a large saucepan. Place over a medium heat, stirring constantly until the mixture thickens and forms a ball of dough. Scrape out the dough, allow it to cool a little, and knead it until all ingredients are evenly distributed and you’re left with a smooth ball of dough. Add some water if the dough is too stiff, or dust with flour if too sticky. When cold, store your playdough in an airtight container or a zip-lock food bag in a cool, dry place.
Remember that at this young age, your toddler may be tempted to put pieces of dough into his mouth. So never leave him alone with playdough. Teach him that it is not for eating, and encourage him to bury his fingers in it, mould, pat, chop up and decorate this fascinating new play thing.

Source: Pampers Newsletter

More playdough recipes:

Rubbery Playdough
2 cups baking soda
1 1/2 cups water
1 cup cornstarch
Mix with a fork until smooth. Boil over medium heat until thick. Spoon onto plate or wax paper.

Nature’s Playdough
1 cup flour
1/2 cup salt
1 cup water
2 tablespoons oil
2 tablespoons cream of tartar
beet, spinach, and carrot juice
Mix flour, salt and oil, and slowly add the water. Cook over medium heat, stirring until dough becomes stiff. Turn out onto wax paper and let cool. Knead the playdough with your hands until of proper consistency. Use as is, or divide into balls and add a few drops of the vegetable juices to make green, pink, and orange.

Playdough
4 cups flour
1/4 cup powdered tempera
1/4 cup salt
1 1/2 cups water
1 tablespoon oil
Mix together flour, powdered paint and salt. Mix water and oil, and food coloring if desired. Gradually stir the water and oil mix into the flour mix. Knead the playdough as you add the liquid. Add more water if too stiff, more flour if sticky.

Alum Playdough
2 cups flour
1 cup salt
2 tablespoons alum
1 cup water
2 tablespoons oil
liquid food coloring
Pour dry ingredients into large pan. Stir together to mix. Stir oil and food coloring into the water. Pour liquid into the dry ingredients while mixing, squeezing and kneading the playdough. If too sticky, add more flour. Keeps best in the fridge.

Just Like the Real Playdough (so they say)
1 cup flour
1 cup water
1 tablespoon oil
1 tablespoon powdered alum
1/2 cup salt
2 tablespoons vanilla
food coloring
Mix all dry ingredients. Add oil and water. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until reaching the consistency of mashed potatoes. Remove from heat and add vanilla and food coloring. Divide into balls and work in color by kneading the playdough.

Oatmeal Playdough
1 cup flour
2 cups oatmeal
1 cup water
Gradually add water to flour and oatmeal in bowl. Knead until mixed (this playdough is sticky, but unique in texture.) Model as with clay.
Tip: Add cornmeal or coffee grounds in small quantity for texture.

Nutty Butter Playdough
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup powdered milk
1 cup honey
1 cup oatmeal
Mix together and play. Make sure this playdough is not used by infants under 12 months of age, who should not consume honey.

Kool-Aid Playdough
2 1/2 to 3 cups flour
2 cups boiling water with 1 package Kool-aid (any flavor)
3 tablespoons corn oil
1/2 cup salt
1 tablespoon alum
Mix ingredients and knead with flour (may take up to 1 extra cup). Use more if the dough draws moisture in high humidity. Keeps well, has a nice fragrance and is very colorful and very flexible.

Source: About.com