Tips for Reading Aloud

Source: The Book Chook

Parents who want the best for their kids, read aloud to them every day. Here are some Book Chook tips to get the most from your story sharing time:
• Make sure your child is comfortable, not hungry or thirsty or too tired. A great place for sharing a story is snuggled together in a big armchair. That feeling of love and closeness makes the read-aloud experience even more special.
• If I’m reading a print book aloud, I like to hold the book where my child can see the text while he listens, imagines, and gazes at the pictures. I believe this is an important step in pre-reading, helping kids make connections with what they hear and the print they see.
• Sometimes children find it difficult to sit still for a story. Encourage them to play quietly while you read, or to move around while you both listen to an audio book.
• Whenever you’re reading aloud each day – at bed time, or during lunch, or maybe while you’re in a waiting room – remember to make the experience fun. Encourage kids to join in whenever there’s an opportunity: maybe they can make an animal noise, or be a giant stomping about.
• If the book is new to you, try to scan it before a read-aloud session. It helps the flow if you know what’s coming next. You won’t stumble, trying to work out an unusual font or the meter of a rhyme.
• I like to use different voices for different characters, and vary my tone. If I’m creeping up to a dark, scary cave, I lower my voice, read slowly and draw out the suspense. If I’m doing dialogue between a mouse and a lion, I vary my voice accordingly. Sometimes I get my voices and characters muddled, but it doesn’t matter. Kids usually point it out, we giggle and move on.
• It’s important to be comfortable and develop your own style of reading aloud. Start reading to babies, they are very accepting, and absorb a lot about language by listening to the rhythm of your words. Check out story times at libraries or schools to get an idea of what works for others.

There are thousands, probably millions of wonderful books for children. Borrow from your local library or buy from markets and stores, but make sure there are many, many books in your home for your child to choose from. Sharing great books daily will give all kids a head start into happiness and success in life, and help their dreams come true.

If you’re interested in more ideas for family read alouds, you might like Ten Ways to Involve the Whole Family in Reading Aloud, Fourteen Fantastic Hints on Reading Aloud by Mem Fox Queen of Read Aloud, When Should We Start Reading to Kids?, Encouraging Young Readers, or Rhyme Helps Reading.}

POSITIVE PARENTING

By Claire Marketos
www.inspiredparenting.co.za

Smacking is one of many punitive options parents choose when raising their children, because it is usually the parenting style most familiar to them.

However, choosing positive parenting, giving a child what he needs to be happy and successful from the day he is born, raises children that are kind and co-operative, making smacking and the “d”(discipline) word obsolete.

Here are 10 positive parenting options that really work:

1.Children need positive attention. As parents we are quick to point out any undesirable behaviour. We criticise their actions, dress, words, and friends. Let’s rather be quick to praise our precious children. Catch them doing something good and tell them how proud you are of them. They will absolutely glow before you. Keep negative comments to yourself.

2.Children need to feel loved. Sit and hold each of your children for 10 minutes each day, and tell them how dear they are to you; how proud you are of them, and how much you love them. Even if you have four children, it will take you less than an hour to spend quality time with each child. You will see them swell with self esteem and confidence.

3.Children need consistency and predictability in the form of routine. This makes them feel secure. They like to know with 100% certainty what is expected of them at home, at school, and so forth. Collaborate with your children to set boundaries in the home that honours the needs of all family members. Give your children reasons as to why they are expected to behave pro-socially and why time management is important for the family as a whole. If the parent fails to provide structure and routine in the home, it is likely the child will feel insecure and misbehave.

4.Children need to be taught empathy, which is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s position, consider what they are feeling, and respond in a sensitive way. Empathy is not something that occurs naturally. An empathic person would find it very difficult to inflict pain on another person, whether physical or mental because they are aware of how the victim feels. Empathy is also key to high EQ.

5. Children need a reason to behave positively. Always explain to children why you require them to behave in a certain way. Even very young children will listen to your explanation, even if they don’t understand every word. The tone of your voice should be serious and reassuring.

6.Children’s feelings need to be acknowledged. “I know you don’t want to put your safety belt on. I know you feel restricted. It’s uncomfortable, but we need to be safe when travelling on the road.” Acknowledging their feelings with the same exuberance as they are expressing them, makes them stop and listen to you.

7.Children need to be motivated to behave positively. Children need to be motivated to behave positively. Be creative and find ways to motivate your child as you would motivate a complete stranger to do something you desire. Using incentives occasionally to help motivate the child is acceptable. However, using incentives all the time will teach the child to only work for a reward and not for self fulfillment.

8.Children need parents who are good role models of positive behaviour. Parents who shout, swear, hit and fight in front of their children, make their children anxious. Such children blame themselves for unhappiness in the home. Take time for yourself as a parent. Ask for help from friends and family when you feel you’re cracking up. Argue in private, when the children aren’t present. Think of ways to model positive behaviour for your children. They will copy you.

9.Children need problem solving options to increase their IQ and make them effective adults, especially in the business world. If a parent’s only problem solving technique is aggression in the form of smacking, shouting, or bullying, then that is what their children will learn. Teach children to think outside the box, especially when they have erred. Have a debate at the dinner table, and explore all the options.

10.Children need patience and creativity to steer them to wards positive behaviour. If you are aware that they are tired and irritable, and about to throw a tantrum, try to be patient and don’t make the situation worse by being punitive. If possible, find them a private space where they can freely express themselves. Tantrums can be a stress relief for the child. As parents sometimes we need to step away from a situation and destress. If you feel the urge to hit, ask yourself how would I feel right now if I was them? Try to meet their needs creatively.

Focusing on what children need makes raising them a pleasure as they respond positively, and you can begin to enjoy their uniqueness. Substituting emotional and verbal abuse for smacking should never be an option, and neither should bribery and extortion. They are just as harmful as smacking. Good luck! May you be inspired to practice positive parenting. (The Star, August 23,2007).

http://www.thestar.co.za/index.php?fArticleId=3996492

Revised and updated February 14, 2010

http://www.inspiredparenting.co.za/NewsCast.aspx?NID=9

15 Tips to Raising Great Children – Jamiatul Ulama KZN

Children are easily influenced by their surroundings. These days, it is extremely difficult to expose our children to an ideal Islamic environment given the influences from media, friends and even other members of the family.

With television, radio, Internet and forms of media mostly touting un-Islamic values, it is up to parents and adults close to the children to set the correct example.

It is impossible to shield our children from all the negative forces that can shape their minds and, ultimately, their behavior.

However, by our own example and showing them better options, we can set them on the true path, which is to obey the commandments of Allah (swt) and our Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him).

Here are some tips you may want to follow in helping your children grow up with Islamic values.

1. Start by teaching them the importance of Worshipping only Allah: The best thing any Muslim parent could ever teach their children is to emphasize, from the day they can comprehend, that Allah (swt) is One and no one is worthy of worship except Allah (swt). This is the fundamental message of our Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) and it is our key to Paradise.

2. Treat them kindly: Kindness begets kindness. If we were kind to our children, they in turn would show kindness to others. Our Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) was the best example in being kind to children.

3. Teach them examples of Muslim heroes: Instead of Batman or Superman, tell them about real heroes such as Abu Bakr, Umar ibn Khattab, Othman bin Affan, Ali bin Abi Talib and others. Tell them how Muslim leaders brought a real peaceful change in the world and won the hearts of Muslims and non-Muslims alike.

4. Let children sit with adults: It is preferable for children to be among adults, especially when listening to Islamic lectures. The Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) would often put children in the front row when he spoke to the people.

5. Make them feel important: Consult them in family matters. Let them feel they are important members of the family and have a part to play in the growth and well being of the family.

6. Go out as a family: Take family trips rather than allowing your children to always go out only with their friends. Let your children be around family and friends from whom you want them to pick up their values. Always remember that your children will become who they are around with most of the time. So, watch their company and above all give them YOUR company.

7. Praise them: Praise is a powerful tool with children, especially in front of others. Children feel a sense of pride when their parents’ praise them and will be keen to perform other good deeds. However, praise must be limited to Islamic deeds and deeds of moral value.

8. Avoid humiliation: Similarly, do not humiliate them in front of others. Children make mistakes. Sometimes, these mistakes occur in their efforts to please the parents. If you are unhappy with your children, tell them in private.

9. Sports: The Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged sports such as swimming, running and horse riding. Other sports that build character and physical strength are also recommended, as long as the children maintain their Islamic identity, wear appropriate clothes and do not engage in unnecessary mixing.

10. Responsibility: Have faith in their abilities to perform tasks. Give them chores to do in line with their age. Convince them that they are performing an important function and you will find them eager to help you out again.

11. Don’t spoil them: Children are easily spoiled. If they receive everything they ask for, they will expect you to oblige on every occasion. Be wise in what you buy for them. Avoid extravagance and unnecessary luxuries. Take them to an orphanage or poor area of your city once in a while so they can see how privileged they are.

12. Don’t be friends: It is common in the West for parents to consider their children as friends. In Islam, it doesn’t work that way. If you have ever heard how friends talk to each other, then you will know that this is not how a parent-child relationship should be. You are the parents, and they should respect you, and this is what you should be teaching them. The friendship part should be limited to you and them keeping an open dialog so they can share their concerns with you and ask you questions when they have any.

13. Pray with them: Involve them in acts of worship. When they are young, let them see you in act of salaah (salat). Soon, they would be trying to imitate you. Wake them up for Fajr and pray as a family. Talk to them about the rewards of salaah so that it doesn’t feel like a burden to them.

14. Emphasize halaal: It is not always good to say ‘this is haraam, that is haraam’. While you must educate them on haraam things, Islam is full of halaal and tell your children to thank Allah (swt) for the bounties He has bestowed on them- not just for food and clothes. Tell them to be thankful for having eyes that see, ears that hear, arms and legs and, the ultimate blessing, Islam in their hearts.

15. Set an example: As parents, you are the best example the children can have. If you talk to your parents rudely, expect your children to do the same to you. If you are disrespectful to others, your children will follow too. Islam is filled with Divine advice on the best ways to bring up your children. That makes it an obligation upon parents to be good Muslims so their children will try to emulate them. If you don’t take Islam seriously, neither will your children. It goes back to our third point, which is to give them Islamic heroes. As a parent, you should be their number one hero.

 

http://www.jamiat.org.za/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=358:15-tips-to-raising-great-children&catid=48:parenting&Itemid=84

The Family Way: Ten Tips For Expecting Muslims

Source: MuslimMatters.org
Posted by Sadaf Farooqi • May 17th, 2010

بسم اللّٰہ الرحمٰن الرحیم

The exciting news has barely seeped in that the overjoyed Muslim couple starts planning and preparing for the imminent arrival of its new bundle of joy. Although the level of nervousness, excitement and anticipation does depend greatly on whether it is a first-time pregnancy, or a subsequent one that will add to an existing brood, nevertheless, no one can help but enthusiastically look forward to a fresh new stint on the parenting journey.

Time immemorial has seen women give birth successfully. Each human being we behold is proof of the fact that some day, many years ago, a pregnant mother carried and bore that individual during several stages of difficulty and innate weakness.
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
“And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: his mother bore him by bearing strain upon strain, and his utter dependence on her lasted two years: (hear the command, O man!), “Show gratitude to Me and to your parents: to Me is (your final) Return.” [31:14]
Yet, when a woman embarks on this journey, even if it is not her first time at it, she becomes overwhelmed by a myriad of diverse, and sometimes conflicting, emotions – euphoria, anxiety, hope, despair, joy, fear, excitement, foreboding, and uncertainty, to name just a few.
For Muslims, this new development (pun intended) calls for higher levels of taqwa (consciousness of Allah), and complete, unswerving tawakkul (trust in Him). As I have been on this journey a couple of times, and having experienced answering the questions of many sisters who have turned to me for counsel when they were in the family way, I have decided to share today some tips for the expectant Muslim parent, for the future benefit of those who are already on the way to becoming parents, or hope to some day:

You are not the only one scared by this
If you find yourself imagining how difficult it will be to give birth to and care for a baby, rest assured that every woman feels that way when she becomes pregnant. No one was born to be “the perfect mother”; in fact, the so-called ‘perfect mother’ doesn’t exist. Every mother who has ever lived, made mistakes and learned from them. Most had really bad days during any of their pregnancy trimesters, when nausea and bodily aches made them cry; when their feet swelled up in the 9th month and standing or walking became a nightmare; when they said the most obnoxious things during a mood swing, or when they thought they’d just never be able to pull through any of the difficult stages. You are not alone!

Seek forgiveness
Expectant mothers feel guilty about complaining of pain, fatigue and weakness; of grumbling about lack of strength; of being deprived of the enjoyment of previously pursued hobbies and pastimes, and for feeling scared and overwhelmed about the future. They feel guilty because inside, they know that in actuality, they are being blessed by Allah, by being given a baby through a safely progressing pregnancy. They know that scores of women who are not able to conceive would give an arm or leg to be in their position – yet they cannot prevent themselves at times from feeling hopeless, lonely, tearful and utterly miserable.
Know that your body is undergoing the biggest change possible – such a change involves emotional and physical upheavals; lots of crying, worrying and whining. However, there is one very effective way to release the corresponding guilt: repentance on a daily basis. It wipes out whatever bad you do. Remember to continue with this beneficial procedure during pregnancy. Recite the masnoon istighfar at least a hundred times a day. It takes only a few minutes.

Thank Allah
Being blessed with a child is indeed something we should be grateful for. Remind yourself that you are blessed; that to know that you are fertile is a very positive, morale-boosting feeling for a woman. Remind yourself that the mortification felt by countless women, who are unable to conceive after being married for several years, is much more psychologically and emotionally, trying than a few months of pain, weakness and fatigue.
Even if your pregnancy is “unplanned” or “unwanted” – force yourself to thank Allah for this blessing, because a pious child is one of the greatest means of benefit and reward after a Muslim leaves this world. Look at the bigger picture and console yoursef by thinking, for example, “In a few years, I will not even think about this pain and weakness, insha’Allah, but will be enjoying the company of a beautiful child!” Also, remember that pious offspring is one of the major sources of continuous rewards for a Muslim even after death.

Do your homework/gain knowledge
Gain knowledge about pregnancy and childbirth; not just on its Islamic rulings and jurisprudence, but also medical know-how about what is going on inside your body. Reading on the Internet is a very efficient way to find out the basics, as long as you are wise enough to differentiate between the facts and myths.

Introduce the Quran to your baby
When the fetus is fully formed, just after the first three months of pregnancy are up, it can hear sounds from outside the mother’s body. While your baby is inside you, it primarily identifies and gets accustomed to your voice. It is at this point that healthcare providers advise the expectant parents to start talking to their baby as if it was right there in front of them. The baby quickly identifies the voices of people it hears the most, especially its mother.
Capitalize on this one-on-one, exclusive bond with your unborn baby, which will be gone once the pregnancy is over. Recite the Quran (if you can, without rushing through it) every single day until the delivery date, once your fourth month of pregnancy has begun and your baby will be listening to each and every word you utter. When a mother speaks, the sound waves of her voice travel to the baby, so imagine how great the effect of melodious, soothing Quran recitation would be on the fetus! Divide your recitation so that the baby hears the whole Quran in your voice before you deliver.
In addition, recite the du’a that the mother of Maryam Bint `Imran did when she was expecting her baby:
إِذْ قَالَتِ امْرَأَةُ عِمْرَانَ رَبِّ إِنِّي نَذَرْتُ لَكَ مَا فِي بَطْنِي مُحَرَّرًا فَتَقَبَّلْ مِنِّي إِنَّكَ أَنتَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ
“Behold! a woman of ‘Imran said: ‘O my Lord! I do dedicate unto You what is in my womb for Your special service: So accept this of me: For You hear and know all things.‘” [3:35]
With this du’a, you can renew your intention every day that this baby would be a pious servant of Allah who would devote his or her life to striving in Allah’s cause. You will see the amazing results of thus dedicating your child to Allah during pregnancy, once your baby is safely delivered and starts to grow. The child will show an innate affinity towards the Quran and other forms of worship from very early on in infancy,insha’Allah!

Be patient
Prophet Muhammad [صلى الله عليه و سلم] said that, “….the woman who dies during pregnancy is a martyr.”
[Narrated by Ahmad (23804), Abu Dawood (3111) and Al-Nasaa'i (1846)].
This inevitably means that whilst she is pregnant, she is akin to a warrior or worker in Allah’s path. Imagine! You are bringing a life into this world…but not just one life. Your offpsring is the continuation of a lineage – a predecesssor to many more generations, insha’Allah.
The difficulty that you are going through is written for you because of the magnanimity of the work being taken from you – the greatness of the responsibility of bringing a life, or rather a continuation of existing life, into this world! No wonder you are stricken with fears, emotional turmoil, mood swings, lack of sleep, physical fatigue, bloating and in the latter stages, debilitating immobility.
To be patient means to try not to say unpleasant and negative things; not to snap at and make life miserable for others, and to persevere in worship and obedience to Allah as usual, despite the difficulty.

Seek advice
The importance of sisterly moral support and consultation cannot be underestimated. It makes an expectant mother feel much better to hear the past pregnancy experiences of friends and relatives. However, when talking to other women and seeking their advice, it is very important not to undermine your own uniqueness. Allah created the one-of-a-kind you, and that means that not everything that works for someone else might work equally well for you.
Also, the same woman experiences different pregnancies with each baby. If you had severity of nausea and vomiting with your first baby, its possible that, with your second, equally severe backache and edema will pose the biggest challenge. Know that every mother uses a trial-and-error method to get through the rigors of pregnancy, and you should also do that.

Follow your intuition
Allah guides His pious slaves by inspiring them to do something – He might place an idea or thought in your head, make you chance upon an article, book, or a phone conversation with someone that will become the means to finding the right solution to your problem. Whilst it is always wise to take the advice of elders and women who have “been there, done that,” you must trust and follow your own gut feeling, or intuition. A woman is programmed a certain way, and she should do what she herself thinks is right for herself and her unborn baby.

Do not be overtly apologetic
Likewise, if you choose not to follow someone else’s advice about your pregnancy, you do not have to feel guilty about it or apologize to them profusely. You have the right to choose to do what you think is best for you and your baby. And that includes choosing the appropriate obstetrician, birth plan, and mode of birth (home birth, water birth, etc.).

Allow room for mistakes
Last but not the least, remember that making mistakes is normal and perfectly acceptable. If you do something wrong, just rectify your stance and learn from the “Oops, I did it again!” experience. All mothers make mistakes; that is how they get good at what they do. Allah will forgive you for those mistakes, as long as you keep turning to Him in sincere repentance (as mentioned in point number two above) and are conscious of Him whenever you make a decision regarding yourself and your (unborn or born) baby. There is no right way or wrong way of nurturing a baby and what works for each mother-child pair is unique.
Your baby’s birth will, insha’Allah, signal the end of most of your physical troubles, but it will commence the next stage of your jihad – nursing and caring for your baby around the clock. With each passing day, each passing hour, you’ll learn the ropes and Allah will make it easier. Each succeeding baby is, likewise, easier to care for than the last one, as you have been there, done that, until the day comes when you can literally nurse and change a diaper whilst half asleep, without even turning on the light!

Myths of Breastfeeding

By Dr. Jack Newman, MD, FRCPC*

1. Many women do not produce enough milk. Not true! The vast majority of women produce more than enough milk. Indeed, an overabundance of milk is common. Most babies that gain too slowly, or lose weight, do so not because the mother does not have enough milk, but because the baby does not get the milk that the mother has. The usual reason that the baby does not get the milk that is available is that he is poorly latched onto the breast. This is why it is so important that the mother be shown, on the first day, how to latch a baby on properly, by someone who knows what they are doing.

2. It is normal for breastfeeding to hurt. Not true! Though some tenderness during the first few days is relatively common, this should be a temporary situation that lasts only a few days and should never be so bad that the mother dreads breastfeeding. Any pain that is more than mild is abnormal and is almost always due to the baby latching on poorly. Any nipple pain that is not getting better by day three or four or lasts beyond five or six days should not be ignored. A new onset of pain when things have been going well for a while may be due to a yeast infection of the nipples. Limiting feeding time does not prevent soreness. Taking the baby off the breast for the nipples to heal should be a last resort only.

3. There is no (not enough) milk during the first three or four days after birth. Not true! It often seems like that because the baby is not latched on properly and therefore is unable to get the milk that is available. When there is not a lot of milk (as there is not, normally, in the first few days), the baby must be well latched on in order to get the milk. This accounts for “but he’s been on the breast for 2 hours and is still hungry when I take him off”. By not latching on well, the baby is unable to get the mother’s first milk, called colostrum. Anyone who suggests you pump your milk to know how much colostrum there is, does not understand breastfeeding, and should be politely ignored. Once the mother’s milk is abundant, a baby can latch on poorly and still may get plenty of milk, though good latching from the beginning, even in if the milk is abundant, prevents problems later on.

4. A baby should be on the breast 20 (10, 15, 7.6) minutes on each side. Not true! However, a distinction needs to be made between “being on the breast” and “breastfeeding”. If a baby is actually drinking for most of 15-20 minutes on the first side, he may not want to take the second side at all. If he drinks only a minute on the first side, and then nibbles or sleeps, and does the same on the other, no amount of time will be enough. The baby will breastfeed better and longer if he is latched on properly. He can also be helped to breastfeed better and longer if the mother compresses the breast to keep the flow of milk going, once he no longer drinks on his own (Handout Breast Compression). Thus it is obvious that the rule of thumb that “the baby gets 90% of the milk in the breast in the first 10 minutes” is equally hopelessly wrong. To see how to know a baby is getting milk see the videos at www.drjacknewman.com.

5. A breastfeeding baby needs extra water in hot weather. Not true! Breastmilk contains all the water a baby needs.

6. Breastfeeding babies need extra vitamin D. Not true! Everyoneneeds vitamin D. Formula has it added at the factory. But the baby is born with a liver full of vitamin D, and breastmilk does have some vitamin D. Outside exposure allows the baby to get the rest of his vitamin D requirements from ultraviolet light even in winter. The baby does not need a lot of outside exposure and does not need outside exposure every day. Vitamin D is a fat soluble vitamin and is stored in the body. In some circumstances (for example, if the mother herself was vitamin D deficient during the pregnancy) it may be prudent to supplement the baby with vitamin D. Exposing the baby to sunlight through a closed window does not work to get the baby more vitamin D.

7. A mother should wash her nipples each time before feeding the baby. Not true! Formula feeding requires careful attention to cleanliness because formula not only does not protect the baby against infection, but also is actually a good breeding ground for bacteria and can also be easily contaminated. On the other hand, breastmilk protects the baby against infection. Washing nipples before each feeding makes breastfeeding unnecessarily complicated and washes away protective oils from the nipple.

8. Pumping is a good way of knowing how much milk the mother has. Not true! How much milk can be pumped depends on many factors, including the mother’s stress level. The baby who breastfeeds well can get much more milk than his mother can pump. Pumping only tells you have much you can pump.

9. Breastmilk does not contain enough iron for the baby’s needs.Not true! Breastmilk contains just enough iron for the baby’s needs. If the baby is full term he will get enough iron from breastmilk to last him at least the first six months. Formulas contain too much iron, but this quantity may be necessary to ensure the baby absorbs enough to prevent iron deficiency. The iron in formula is poorly absorbed, and the baby poops out most of it. Generally, there is no need to add other foods to breastmilk before about 6 months of age.

10. It is easier to bottle feed than to breastfeed. Not true! Or, thisshould not be true. However, breastfeeding is made difficult because women often do not receive the help they should to get started properly. A poor start can indeed make breastfeeding difficult. But a poor start can also be overcome. Breastfeeding is often more difficult at first, due to a poor start, but usually becomes easier later.

11. Breastfeeding ties the mother down. Not true! But it depends how you look at it. A baby can be breastfed anywhere, anytime, and thus breastfeeding is liberating for the mother. No need to drag around bottles or formula. No need to worry about where to warm up the milk. No need to worry about sterility. No need to worry about how your baby is, because he is with you.

12. There is no way to know how much breastmilk the baby is getting. Not true! There is no easy way to measure how much the baby is getting, but this does not mean that you cannot know if the baby is getting enough. The best way to know is that the baby actually drinks at the breast for several minutes at each feeding (open mouth wide—pause—close mouth type of suck). Other ways also help show that the baby is getting plenty (Handout Is my Baby Getting Enough Milk?). See the videos atwww.drjacknewman.com.

13. Modern formulas are almost the same as breastmilk. Not true! The same claim was made in 1900 and before. Modern formulas are only superficially similar to breastmilk. Every correction of a deficiency in formulas is advertised as an advance. Fundamentally, formulas are inexact copies based on outdated and incomplete knowledge of what breastmilk is. Formulas contain no antibodies, no living cells, no enzymes, no hormones. They contain much more aluminum, manganese, cadmium, lead and iron than breastmilk. They contain significantly more protein than breastmilk. The proteins and fats are fundamentally different from those in breastmilk. Formulas do not vary from the beginning of the feed to the end of the feed, or from day 1 to day 7 to day 30, or from woman to woman, or from baby to baby. Your breastmilk is made as required to suit yourbaby. Formulas are made to suit every baby, and thus no baby. Formulas succeed only at making babies grow well, usually, but there is more to breastfeeding than nutrients.

14. If the mother has an infection she should stop breastfeeding. Not true! With very, very few exceptions, the mother’s continuing to breastfeed will actually protect the baby. By the time the mother has fever (or cough, vomiting, diarrhea, rash, etc) she has already given the baby the infection, since she has been infectious for several days before she even knew she was sick. The baby’s best protection against getting the infection is for the mother to continue breastfeeding. If the baby does get sick, he will be less sick if the mother continues breastfeeding. Besides, maybe it was the baby who gave the infection to the mother, but the baby did not show signs of illness because he was breastfeeding. Also, breast infections, including breast abscess, though painful, are not reasons to stop breastfeeding. Indeed, the infection is likely to settle more quickly if the mother continues breastfeeding on the affected side. (Handouts Breastfeeding and Medication and Breastfeeding and Illness).

15. If the baby has diarrhea or vomiting, the mother should stop breastfeeding. Not true! The best medicine for a baby’s gut infection is breastfeeding. Stop other foods for a short time, but continue breastfeeding. Breastmilk is the only fluid your baby requires when he has diarrhea and/or vomiting, except under exceptional circumstances. The push to use “oral rehydrating solutions” is mainly a push by the formula manufacturers (who also make oral rehydrating solutions) to make even more money. The baby is comforted by the breastfeeding, and the mother is comforted by the baby’s breastfeeding. (Handouts Breastfeeding and Medication and Breastfeeding and Illness).

16. If the mother is taking medicine she should not breastfeed. Not true! There are very very few medicines that a mother cannot take safely while breastfeeding. A very small amount of most medicines appears in the milk, but usually in such small quantities that there is no concern. If a medicine is truly of concern, there are usually equally effective, alternative medicines that are safe. The risks of artificial feeding for both the mother and the baby must be taken into account when weighing if breastfeeding should be continued (Handouts Breastfeeding and Medication andBreastfeeding and Illness).

For More Breastfeeding Myths, and Still More Myths, and Even More and More Myths!! visit www.drjacknewman.com

Dr. Jack Newman, MD, FRCPC

Dr. Jack Newman graduated from the University of Toronto medical school in 1970, interning at the Vancouver General Hospital. He did his training in pædiatrics in Quebec City and then at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto from 1977-1981 to become a Fellow of the Royal College of Physicians of Canada in 1981 as well as Board Certified by the AAP in 1981. He has worked as a physician in Central America, New Zealand and South Africa. He founded the first hospital based breastfeeding clinic in Canada in 1984. He has been a consultant for UNICEF for the Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative, evaluating the first candidate hospitals in Gabon, the Ivory Coast and Canada.

Source: CanadianParenting.com

TIPS TO ENHANCE A POSITIVE PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP

• Love your child and praise them frequently so that they feel valued and wanted.
• Set clear boundaries so that your child knows where they stand.
• Provide them with clear routines and structures so that they feel safe and know what to expect.
• Be consistent in your approach.
• To build their self-esteem, reward your child for good behaviour, trying hard or for doing well.
• Reward and praise the EFFORT and not the outcome
• Follow through with consequences if they misbehave, so that they learn from their mistakes.
• Give them cuddles and affection at every opportunity so that they know you love them.
• Be assertive!
• Control your anger and mood swings.
• Learn to relax with your children & enjoy each other’s company.
• Monitor your own behaviour; your children are observing you.
• Trust in the Almighty for His infinite love and guidance.

Courtesy of Mums Connected